I’m the Hatzalah Man

I’ve got a siren in my car
and a walkie on my belt
I can speed whenever I need
and be mechalel shabbos when I please
I’m special
I’m different
I’m the Hatzalah man
I’m the Hatzalah man

It’s the middle of Mincha when my belt begins to speak
Everyone’s davening can go on hold
I may have to go out on a call
1234 Fake Street
Boro Park is turning blue
Watch me answer it
watch me answer it
I’m the Hatzalah man
I’m the Hatzalah man

Secular boys may play with police toys
and dream of being cops one day
but for the frum kids that option’s foreclosed
the closest thing that exists is me
Go anywhere people are dying
You’re either me or just another Kollel fool
I’m the Hatzalah man
I’m the Hatzalah man

Watch the kiddies gather around
and ask to hold my radio
I’m the big man on the room
My life is as exciting as frum life gets
No you can’t hold it
Only I can hold it
I’m the Hatzalah man
I’m the Hatzalah man

Sit down with me and I’ll tell you a few
about the headless guy on the road
or the naked lady in the tub
or the time I saved some guy’s life
He died anyway but what the hell
It’s a story that makes me seem cool
I’m the Hatzalah man
I’m the Hatzalah man

When I race down 18th avenue
siren blaring on a call
all you Kollel bums want to be me
you know you want to me
everyone who’s frum wants to be me
I’m a macher
I’m a big shot
I’m the Hatzalah man
I’m the Hatzalah man

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5 thoughts on “I’m the Hatzalah Man

  1. Ari Hart's Mom says:

    Are Hatzalah Men really that high on themselves? I don’t live in Boro Park, but maybe you’re being just a tad cynical here?

  2. samuraimohel says:

    You can’t be a tad cynical. You can either go whole hog or all the way.

  3. Jacob da Jew says:

    Oh, man, you got me laughing so hard here. Hockers galore!!~!!

    I’m going to add you to my blogroll, this blog is great!

  4. samuraimohel says:

    yeah sure ditto thanks

  5. matis says:

    it’s funny but not all of them are like that

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