I Got Yer Searches Right Here, Punks

The internet is a big giant whirlpool of stupid searches, some of which come in my direction. Usually I just stand by and laugh while you morons search for “How to get a Sword Out of a Wall” or “Chassidish Sluts 2003” or “Gay in Schentaday” but this time out of the charity and goodness of my heart, I’m here to help you you out.
Ah who am I kidding. I’m not the helpful type.

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haredi evil

Haredi evil dwells in a giant chasm somewhere off 13th avenue. No way that’s Chassidish evil. Haredi evil is somewhere in Lakewood where it runs a basement business off the books.

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difference between seventh day and messi 2

Seventh Day Adventists are vulnerable to Kryptonite. Messies require a wooden stake through the heart or a dash of Mayim Chaim.

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tznius 1

Stop looking up my armor.

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“samurai mohel” real name 1

My real name is Yojimbo Takahashi. No wait, that’s not right. My real name is Yomamma Cankissmyass. Thanks for asking, but no I won’t date you, Ari.

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“ari hart” “deport”

Yes please.

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are messianic jews a cult

Does a shriner defecate in the woods? Regardless, they’re still a cult.

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+”friar yid” +”sultan knish” 1

I hope they’ll be very happy together

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+18 frum sex

We can go as low as 16

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why women like vodka? 1

Because it gets them drunk faster in a trendy way.

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iran moshiach 1


4 thoughts on “I Got Yer Searches Right Here, Punks

  1. Lopian says:

    I can answer the Iran meshiach search.
    Meshiach for Iran is a guy names Fendel Megsplitzer who is the son of an itinerent women saddle maker from Olmekistan on the Kazikstan border and her slave husband Wally from downtown Tehran where he ran a newspaper stand.

    Its not well known but it is the truth.

  2. samuraimohel says:

    That explains a whole lot in all the wrong ways, thanks for stopping by and have some vodka on the house

  3. Lopian says:

    I had vodka on the house once. But only once as it spilled down on the roof and melted the shingles.

  4. samuraimohel says:

    Must be that Kazakh Vodka. Tell you what just stick some old socks in it and you can take out anything for miles in any direction.

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