Crappy Dangerous Airlines = Modest Flying

The Rabbinical Committee of Transportation published an ad Tuesday in official haredi newspapers ranking airlines operating flights from Israel to the United States and Europe in terms of the films screened on the planes.

Under the title “There is another way”, the committee rabbis – operating under the authority of the greatest sages of Israel, including Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, Rabbi Aharon Leib Shteinman, Hasidic leaders, as well as Shas’ spiritual leader Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, whose son Yitzhak Yosef is a member of the committee – stated that “the film problem constitutes a dreadful spiritual danger.”

Modesty categories
The airlines ranked as a top priority, according to the committee, are those which do not offer any films on their flights.

The airlines which won the privilege of being included in the modest category are mainly eastern European companies such as Aerosvit, which provides flight services to Ukraine and later on to the rest of Europe, Malev, which flies to Hungary, and Brussels Airlines, which provides flights to Belgium.

As for flights to the US, British Airways and Continental Airlines were ranked as a second priority, and Swiss International Air Lines was rated second in flights to Europe.

What about Israeli airlines?
The Israeli airlines did not win much praise in the haredi committee’s ranking. El Al was included in the third category in flights to the US and London, while Israir and Arkia did not even make it to the list of “permitted” airlines.

Call me crazy here, but as vitally important as it is to avoid seeing Meet the Klumps with Hebrew voiceovers, maybe recommending that people fly crappy Eastern European airlines with terrible safety records just to avoid seeing a movie that you can avoid seeing by looking away from the frakking screen.

I mean seeing 3 seconds of Blades of Glory probably won’t kill you, though it might destroy your desire to ever see a movie again. On the other hand flying Bulgaria’s proud ExplodaAirlines consisting of surplus Chinese planes from 1972 glued together by used Post It notes might.

Modesty is important and all, but you’re gonna be fairly immodest when you’re plummeting through the air from 36,000 feet is all I’m saying.

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5 thoughts on “Crappy Dangerous Airlines = Modest Flying

  1. Gila says:

    Well said!

  2. Chaim says:

    I flew Aerosvit. There are no seats just benches on the wall and you belt yourself in with one of the leather belts they supply.
    A box lunch of peanut butter and jelly is supplied with a glass of something like Kool Aid.
    The flght attendant is a man/woman.. I am not sure, who weighed in at some 400 pounds I am sure.
    He/she had to wrestle one passenger to the ground during the flight.
    They don’t make many stops but they do supply you with parachutes and you are permitted to bail out over individual cities if you like.
    The pilot, Sergy Muskovitch was drunk, yes, but he seemed to know the route pretty well.
    We only had to stop once at a gas station in Poland for directions.

  3. Chaim says:

    flew Aerosvit. There are no seats just benches on the wall and you belt yourself in with one of the leather belts they supply.
    A box lunch of peanut butter and jelly is supplied with a glass of something like Kool Aid.
    The flght attendant is a man/woman.. I am not sure, who weighed in at some 400 pounds I am sure.
    He/she had to wrestle one passenger to the ground during the flight.
    They don’t make many stops but they do supply you with parachutes and you are permitted to bail out over individual cities if you like.
    The pilot, Sergy Muskovitch was drunk, yes, but he seemed to know the route pretty well.
    We only had to stop once at a gas station in Poland for directions.

  4. This must be the up-side of rising fuel prices. Soon, nobody will be able to afford to be subjected to bad movies on a postage-stamp sized screen, because they won’t be flying.

    But, just in case prices drop, perhaps the Rabbinical Committee of Transportation can invest in adapting the new security bracelets to punish those whose eyes wander over to the movie screen.

  5. samuraimohel says:

    ideally we’d all go back to traveling on ships the way our helige grandparents did in the velt vun toyre and they had no movies and it took months and many of them died on the way, which is de right vay to travel

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