A Real Learner – He has over 400 gigabytes of naked Asian girls on his Mp4 enabled cell phone and a plan to never work for the rest of his life.
He’s Interested in Chinuch – He has no clue or plan for the rest of his life.
His Grandfather is Related to the Chofetz Chaim – His grandfather once read a book about the Chofetz Chaim and memorized the pertinent details.
He’s Really Good with Stocks – He wants to blow your dowry on IPokerWinnings.com.
He’s a Very Sensitive Boy – He watched Titanic 9 times and cried every time.
He Spent a Year Learning in Israel – He Spent a Year Smoking and Flirting with Natasha who works in that booth at Machane Yehuda in between sodas.
He’s a Very Erliche Boy – He hasn’t figured out how to have fun yet.
You Never See Him Without a Sefer – You never see him without his protective camouflage.
He’ll Make a Great Father – His emotional age is around 7.
He’s a Very Handsome Bochur – He weighs 250 pounds with his cell phones and eats pizza with his hands.
He’s Never Looked at a Girl – He might be gay.
He Wants to Live in Israel – He thinks wife beating might be legal there.
She’s a Very Artistic Girl – She likes to freeze dry macaroni and paint it different colors.
She’s a Real Balabuste – She’s looking forward to spending all day watching the Home Shopping Network while the Polish maid cleans.
She’s Very Low Maintenance – She only throws one irrational tantrum a day.
She’s Very Loving – She’ll be IM’ing a guy in Canada before your Shana Rishona is up.
She Loves Children – Sex terrifies her.
She’s a Real Role Model – She’s always in charge of deciding which girls to snub.
She’s a Very Special Girl – She’s insane and we’re all frightened of her.
She’s Very Caring – She uses baby talk to adults.
She’s a Real Catch – We’re desperate.
Her Family is Very Erlich – Her family hides their TV antenna behind a potted plant.
She’s So Full of Life – She weighs 300 pounds.
Don’t Let This One Get Away – The sucker’s falling for it.
I Can’t Say a Single Bad Thing – There’s too many bad things to say just one.
Don’t You Wish You had a Doctor in the Family? – Don’t you wish you had a spouse you have to make an appointment to see.
They’re a Real Go Getter – They’re a user.
Who Can Forget? – Who can remember?
I Hope You Like Cats. – Run, run now.