Have you built an entire identity around being a victim? Are you compulsively unable to stop from rehashing every petty detail in your life and blaming it on someone else? Have you had an affair with a married man who stayed married even though he told you he was going to leave his wife and you like totally believed him because why would a guy who cheats on his wife lie to you anyway?


“Narcissist” comes from the Greek (Narcissus, or Spirit of the Self-Help Books Section). Narcissists are typically people with more self-esteem than you. Narcissists victimize their victims for life by having an affair with them and then moving on. This cripples their victims for life and leaves them unfit to do anything but write about the dangers of narcissism and long for the return of the Phil Donahue Show.

John Gray discovered the term “Narcissist” in 1684 while he was looking for more things that men and women do differently. Since then many Nobel Prize winning physicists have devoted years of their life to studying the issue and found nothing, because they were men, and men suck!

The NHS has recently declared a “Narcissism Epidemic” and warned everyone who’s stupid and whiny to stay indoors, and avoid sneezing near cat covered furniture.

There are easy ways to identify a Narcissist. A Narcissist in the early stages of a relationship is really into you. Then he seems less interested. This may be a sign that the relationship isn’t working out, OR IS THAT JUST WHAT THE NARCISSIST WANTS YOU TO THINK WHILE HE KEEPS PLAYING GAMES WITH YOUR MIND?

If you’re reading this, you already know the answer to that.

Also a Narcissist’s moods change. One day he can be angry, and another day he can be happy. Narcissists also often have noses, eyes and long evil mustaches which they twirl while muttering darkly about their plans to steal all the earth’s diamond reserves IN ORDER TO POWER THEIR NARCISSISM.

Narcissists can be anybody. A schoolteacher. A bus driver. A donut hole puncher. But they’re most likely to be someone you were in a bad relationship with, but was totally not your fault, CAUSE HE WAS A NARCISSIST. And he controlled your mind! And your thoughts! And your dreams! And your pastries!

The only way to break free of a Narcissist’s influence is to talk about him non-stop. Only by spending the next few decades going on about Narcissists, can you finally liberate yourself to have a healthy normal relationship with the pillow next to you in the old age home.

Some therapists will advise you to get on with your life instead. Avoid them because THEY ARE CLEARLY NARCISSISTS. Instead pick a therapist whose conversations with you will help her write a book about how women can identify Narcissists that Oprah might select for her book club. And then you’ll be on TV with her. And then you can write your own book. And won’t that be so much better than not having a crazy obsession that prevents you from living a normal life?


  1. Been reading Oprah Magazine much?

  2. samuraimohel says:

    or the blogsphere equivalent

  3. Barry says:

    I dont get it.

  4. Barbara says:

    as a DV counselor this is one of the most abusive, invalidating and disgusting things I have ever read. I used to like this blog… not any more. If you really feel this way, take me – a victim with permanent PTSD issues – off your blog roll at your earliest convenience.

    A relationship with a psychopathic man is not like any other failed relationship. The women who loved psychopaths are not just bitter women scorned. It is simply not possible to have a relationship with a psychopath and not be harmed and damaged to a significant degree.

    The medical side effects of post traumatic stress disorder that many of the women developed from the relationship (as well as other acute stress disorders) will long manifest in her body. Medical side effects that continue on, long after the psychopath has left.

    – Sandra Brown, MA

  5. Aries says:

    Obviously, you have never experienced a relationship with a narcissist. You should stick to writing about what you know.

  6. James says:

    First I guess I really wonder why you even waste your time writing such rubbish? Confusing Personality Disorder with that of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is bad enough. What you described “There are easy ways to identify a Narcissist. A Narcissist in the early stages of a relationship is really into you.” is really just the Cluster B Disorder i.e. traits. Or did you know that? But let’s get back to NPD that’s what you are attempting to explain right?

    Whenever a writer attempts to miniature the long term affect whenever anyone gets involved with someone that suffers from a Personality Disorder is spreading misinformation and “half” truths. It also revictimized the victim and allows the abuser no personal responsibility for his or her own actions. Your vain attempt to make light of a public and social problem of this presently know problem in our sociality today, is in my opinion very “Narcissistic” on your part.

  7. samuraimohel says:

    As the victim of your narcissistic blog comments, I am now suffering from MAYPA or Man Are You People Annoying. I’m a shattered wreck and I may never be the same again. Not.

    You’re not victims. You’re people who have chosen to create an entire identity based on some guy who had cybersex with you. My response is Get a Life.

    Being attacked, physically abused makes you a victim. Being in a bad relationship does not make you a victim. Grow up and get over it. Or just label everyone who points out the common sense solution to you a narcissist, which you people misuse the way that Salem screamed everyone was a witch, while pretending you’re using legitimate terminology.

  8. James says:

    Only when they take you out to the streets and burn you does it really become a “witch hunt”.

  9. me says:

    You are an egotistical, ignorant narcissist and not worth anybody’s time. Why don’t you get a life? The only type of person who would write something like this is the very same type of predator that we are trying to get away from.

  10. samuraimohel says:

    That’s right, I’m a narcissist

    New definition of Narcissist = Someone who thinks you’re all a bloody pack of self-centered self-involved idiots

  11. Barbara says:

    I will take the word of a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist over your dismissive, minimizing bullpocky.

    There’s no shame in being a victim – there IS shame in being an abuser who uses their blog to further abuse. I have to wonder why we victims bother you so much? Could you actually have a conscience?

  12. Stacy says:

    That’s awesome, I now know I am in fact a narcissist thanks.

  13. samuraimohel says:

    Everyone is a narcissist! Except me! me! me! me!

    Also Ted Danson, for some reason.

  14. Neveilah says:

    Leave victims alone!

  15. Sarah says:

    Wow, I’m not necessarily impressed by the blog, but the comments so far are sniveling and whiny. It’s a joke! Get a freakin’ life and don’t take it personally because the person is a smarta$$.

  16. Carol says:

    The whole point about a narcassistic relationship is the fact that once the wife cannot supply the narcassist with perpetual praise he tires to obtain it from other sources – usually other women. Because the man is usually so charming to other women (not to his wife) they fall for him. However, in my case my husband did not want to leave and was being pressured to do so and got scared about taking up permanently with someone else. In order to get out of the second relationship he decided to make up a story that I was crazy and needed to be put away in a mental hospital for 10 days. This gave him the ammunition with friends, family and lovers that he couldn’t leave because his wife was sick! ! In the State of New York it seems that all you have to do iis call the mental hospital and then they will admit someone without any prior problems and not even on the advice of a doctor, to their facility. Once there your husband can twist your wrists to make you sign yourself in and there you stay until he decides to negotiate to get you out! How disgusting is that narcassist and his female companions.
    People living with narcassists need to leave and don’t look back.

  17. be objective says:

    I don’t even know how I stumbled upon this blog at all….thanks to everyone for successfully distracting me for a while on this Friday morning at work.

  18. samuraimohel says:

    Helping people waste time is what we do best

  19. sharkattacksteve says:

    I suggest a new reality show:

    Narcissists VS Hysterics

    Thank you ladies in advance.

  20. Girlstuff says:

    I laughed too. It seemed so ridiculous, the Narcissist label. I couldn’t get my head around it at all. I knew that relationships were the sum of everyone involved. Besides, I wan’t the victim type. I joked. Humor was my friend and companion. I had other personality traits to rely on too. My actions began to reflect an indomitable spirit -even when things went sideways. Relationships do go sideways sometimes after all, but when we love someone we make an effort and we are inclined to believe in the goodness of others.

    It is funny Narcissism. I laughed a lot about it. Then, somehow the joke was on me. I had PTSD from cumulative emotional and psychogical abuse with objectifying sexual coercion. The lies, and criticisms weren’t rolling off anymore. I couldn’t reach out to friends and family. I blamed my trouble on myself and my myriad flaws. He must have been right? it came out of nowhere, the subtle then increasing put downs -the setups for emotional cruelty scenarios. The rug was being pulled from under me now almost 2-3-4 times a week. It was had to sleep. I was to blame and now my pain was causing him trouble. He dumped me and told me no one else would ever want me via text message the day I asked why we weren’t having fun together, gong to movies, hanging with friends and why it seemed he had lied about other women he was sleeping with. He then asked me to sleep with him and another woman I didn’t know he was even seeing. I said no. It was a shock. It was all confusing, opposite of everything. I couldn’t laugh or even remember what I liked, or who this guy was anymore. It felt scary and I was shakng. I didn’t want to leave the house. I missed 2 days at work, then went to see a psychiatrist. Disabled now, I began a day program at the hospital and fought feelings of suicide each hour. I returned to work, but the medical leave caused some difficulties there. I was fired -even though my performance was stellar. He still calls contacts me he likes to let me know about his new conquests, and proposition me or get my attention I guess? He doesn’t know what happened. I still refuse contact and cry about it all. I’m not telling you everything… but, I will tell you:

    Pathological people exist and their impact on others and me isn’t funny. I almost died. I’m not a victim, or a survivor. I’m a thriver. There’s nothing very went with me. In fact, I rock in most ways you could imagine. It doesn’t matter if you believe me or agree with me. It only matters that you never go through what I did because you’re in denal, feeling invulnerable or too intoxicated by your own wit to understand that pathological Narcissists do exist. They’re really good at what they do and they study you. They end lives, break spirits for amusement, exploit, decimate and many people are workng through tremendous pain recovering from the effects of exposure to them as I type this. I hope it’s never you, even though I’m usually fond of an ironic laugh, it wouldn’t be funny to ridicule you in pain. If it were, I’d likely be pathological? Yes?

    Fortunately, you are unscathed and I’m truly grateful about that. Yay you!

  21. Ashley Ford says:

    My daughter’s father and I were together four years. In the beginning, he was wonderful. Slowly, he began to question my every move. He told me everything that I did was wrong, and eventually, it got to the point where I feared to do almost anything because I tried so hard not to anger him or do something “wrong.” This even got to the point where after we had a few drinks, he choked me until I blacked out. He convinced me this was my fault because I was becoming “hysterical” just for asking him to talk to me and let me speak, and try to have a fair verbal argument.

    So, no. I do not find this funny. Nor do I think victims of NPD are to blame. We are not all whining. Hearing that someone else, too, had faced the things I faced and that I was not the only one, helped me. This may be an old post, but I still felt the need to comment. You say you need to be beaten to be abused? Many victims of NPD were physically abused. I was, and because of his brainwashing, I believed that everything that went wrong was my fault. In reality, I worked, supported him and my daughter, was loving and faithful, and did all I could possibly do for him. He drained me financially and emotionally until there was nothing left.

    If this sounded like it was in jest, I wouldn’t be so offended. But it seems as though you truly believe that the victims are overexaggerating, and most of them aren’t.

  22. Tony Mcgrane says:

    Very very very poor advice!!!!Actually its a pathetic disgrace!!!! I hope all disregard it!!!

  23. da bishop says:

    This is some quality lampooning. Most pop psychology is a force worthy of having the piss taken out of it.

    However, there is a clinical body of evidence which does suggest that narcissism is indeed a disorder with a physical basis, and an objectively measurable profile. fMRI scans and measurement of reaction times to certain stimuli produced some results that are quite convincing, and chilling.

    I started researching the NPD when I was stalked by somebody whose behaviour became increasingly insane, once they felt they’d established me as their possession, and the open displays of rage, hatred and so on, I have to say, were an eye opener. Medical-grade scary behaviour.

  24. No one's Victim says:

    Geez. This site is not helpful with the immature people making childish, rude comments. Are they narcissists? I think so. I won’t be back here again.

  25. JP says:

    I’m telling you I had this EXACT perspective that the writer has until I had a relationship with a narc. I had zero pity for whiny women who basically couldn’t get over a man, including my own mother. But OMG you have no idea how vindictive these guys are, and you just don’t see it coming. Sure, maybe the writer would have seen it coming with my person, but it takes a certain type of narc to be able to fool a certain type of person. There not all the same, and the creepy thing is they figure out EXACTLY what you want to hear, see, etc. All I’m saying to the writer is, don’t be so sure of yourself, I was the same way, and I’m humbled as fuck. There are mean people in the world, and you may think you’re smart enough to stay away from them, but sometimes your not. You are thinking from a rational prospective about what these guys want from women, and that’s what most of us were thinking. I know it sounds creepy, but sometimes these guys don’t want your money, your lifestyle, not even really sex, they straight up want your soul, they want to defeat you, to humble you, to de-power you, and they will come across as the sweetest little teddy bears you ever knew, and you will think you finally found that one special person, because let’s face it, we’re all looking for the perfect fit. They play into that, big time, and as soon as they have you, the abuse starts. But the abuse is subtle, it’s called Covert Abuse, but let me tell you, it’s harmful. The hardest part for me wasn’t that I was “abused”. I’m no victim. What’s hard for me to accept is knowing that there are people in the world who will do that. Who will literally have the idea of around what time they were going to “get rid of you” within the first two weeks of the relationship. (Self confessed Narcs will admit to this anonymously) It’s a scary world, consider yourself lucky if you never deal with this particular personality trait.

  26. Humble Texas says:

    Hi! I’ve been reading your website for a long time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Humble Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the great work!

  27. Chana says:

    What an antagonistic presentation of how a human who has been victimized by such an evil creature should handle the situation. This was written by a narcissist. Who else would have such a lack of respect or empathy for ones who were victims of such criminals! You are a BAD JEW! If you even a real Jew…

  28. tickletik says:

    On the one hand I know exactly what you are driving at and can’t complain, on the other hand there is a legitimate definition of narcissism that goes beyond oprah and psych quack, see he goes on too much about it, but he is on to something

  29. tickletik says:

    Thought this post was hilarious btw.

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