Thank Jesus, I’m a Jew for Christmas

Tis’ the Season. Yes the season in which sacks of fecal matter with Jewish last names who identify as conservatives write about how much they love the holiday celebrating the birth of Christ.

It’s amazing to me that a few hundred years ago, Jews would stand in line facing Cossack soldiers or Spanish troops, and die along with their children rather than convert to the Faith of Christ. Jews let themselves be burned at the stake, broken on the wheel and tortured to death in gruesome ways. Some as late as the 18th century like Joseph Oppenheimer who was tortured into confessing to the most ridiculous charges, but still refused to convert to Christianity even when confronted with death.

And today all it takes is a shot at being popular with Conservative Christians to make their descendants jump up like yapping little dogs and proclaim how much they love (Christ) Christmas. “Did I do good master? Was I a good little Jewish lapdog? Can I have a treat now?

Oh no wait, but don’t you see Christmas is under attack? That’s right the holiday celebrated by most Americans. Hell the holiday even celebrated in Communist Russia is in danger! Evil liberals (Satan) have convinced people to say Happy Holidays, which kicks Christmas in the balls. Because how will people know it’s Christmas, unless everyone repeats MERRY CHRISTMAS 666 times a day? How???

Sure there are Christmas carols playing and Christmas trees everywhere. Also Christmas is a legal holiday and you can’t turn on the TV or radio without hearing about Christmas. BUT HOW WILL PEOPLE KNOW IT’S CHRISTMAS? OUR CULTURAL HERITAGE OF A HOLIDAY THAT AMERICA DIDN’T CELEBRATE UNTIL THE LATE 19TH CENTURY IS BEING DESTROYED!!!

Well it’s not my cultural heritage. More to the point it’s not my damned religion. My ancestors spent thousands of years running from people who wanted them to bow to &*(*@#$# trees, statues, idols and kings. They said no, and I say no. I wear a visible Yarmulke on my head. Anyone who wishes me Merry Christmas is either

A.) blind
B.) a moron
C.) pushing Christmas on me

and my response is to ignore it. Because I’m a Jew. Not a Jew for Jesus. Not a Jew for Christmas. Not a Jew for Buddha, Allah or Obama. Just a Jew. And if you don’t like it, here’s two thirds of a Bronx cheer for you.

And if we get right down to it, Christmas is not the cultural heritage of the Puritans or America’s Founding Fathers. It’s not the cultural heritage of tens of millions of other Americans today, some Jewish, some from Christian denominations, some *gasp* Buddhist and some who just don’t give a damn.

The War on Christmas crap is the product of a bunch of Evangelical Christian pressure groups who want to feed their followers’ paranoia and shove their vision of America down everyone’s throat. But you know what, America means nothing if it doesn’t mean the freedom to believe what you choose.

I am an American and a Jew. I believe in God and He was not born on Christmas and his name was not Christ. Therefore I do not celebrate it. My great-grandfather Avraham was tossed into a furnace for refusing to bow to statues. My grandfather Daniel was tossed into a furnace for refusing to worship an idol. I can’t claim to be making that kind of sacrifice by not verbally celebrating the birth of the Christian Savior… but on the other hand what is one to make of the Jews who fail even such a simple test of faith?

War on Chanukah Strikes Victory for Christmas

Dozens of people led by an Orthodox priest smashed a menorah in Moldova’s capital, using hammers and iron bars to remove the candelabra during Hanukkah, officials said.

The 1.5 meter(5-foot)-tall ceremonial candelabrum was retrieved, reinstalled and is now under police guard. Religious scandal at Chisinau/Kishinev after almost 100 Orthodox Christians lead by their priest teared up a Jewish Menorah on the day of Hanukkah. The police couldn’t have done anything to stop them.

The Menorah was placed right next to the Stephen III of Moldavia statue (better known as Stephen the Great) Friday on December 11 by “representatives” of the Jewish community from the Moldovan Republic for Hanukkah celebration. The Christians pulled the Menorah and placed a Christian cross instead of it.

“Placing a Jewish symbol next to the statue of Stephen the Great is an offense” said one of the leaders of the protest. “We are Orthodox Christians, we are a nation of Christians and Stephen the Great protected our nation from all kind Jews but Friday, they came here and placed their Menorah right in the middle of our square! This is an outlaw! We can’t believe how our government allowed such a thing in a Christian nation!” said the priest.

The priest then hold the Moldovan flag and shown to the TV cameras: “The Cross here on our flag is our symbol, we will protect our nation with the holy cross! No Jews will oppress us in our own nation!”

They sure sound a lot like the War on Christmas types in America, don’t they. Maybe a damn Jew said Happy Holidays to them. Still don’t think it sounds familiar?

Listen in to Robert Stacy McCain who is not at all anti-semitic! (Yid with Lid says so!!!)

Continuing the assault on Christmas, Seattle’s SEA-TAC Airport removed all of their Christmas decorations as a result of a rabbi’s asinine effort to bring religious relativity to the Christian holy day.

According to Townhall, the rabbi is from an organization called the “Central Organization for Jewish Learning.” If someone can find the homepage of this organization and the name of the rabbi, I’ll update this article later. I have my suspicions.

Look people, Christmas is Christmas. It is a Christian holiday in a predominantly Christian culture, the most important holiday in western culture for 2,000 years. There is no need to dumb down a religious holiday by including Judaic, Islamic, Buddhist, or Wiccan traditions. The “me too” crowd is going to need to get a grip. It’s Christmas, get it? Christmas! I promise it will all be over on December 26th, after which our liberal friends can attack some other aspect of our culture that has served us well.

Thanks to commenter “Anonymous” linking to this article at CNN, the rabbi has been identified as Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky of a group called “Chabad Lubavitch of the Pacific Northwest.” The group’s website is here which includes a telephone number and email address.

The Rabbi is also director of the “Chai Center of Greater Seattle.” His direct contact information at the Chai Center including telephone number and email address is here.

According to this article in the Seattle Times, the Rabbi appears to have forced a giant menorah on to a U.S. Naval frigate, and the article suggests that the rabbi and his group make a habit of this sort of thing. Rabbi Bogomilsky is a radio talk show host and one might speculate that threatening lawsuits is his modus operandi.

MENORAH WIELDING RABBI ATTACKS US NAVY FRIGATE. But Robert Stacy McCain will defend our troops from Jewish Menorah oppression. Won’t someone besides this brave hero of the League of the South stop those damn Jews from planting their accursed infidel Menorahs everywhere.

And wasn’t it helpful of Robert Stacy McCain to include the Rabbi’s contact information. In case someone might want to “contact” him. Hint hint. (But he’s not at all a bigot!!! Yid with Lid swears on a stack of New Testaments!)

A heck of a lot assumed? Like, this is the rabbi who threatened to sue the airport commission because of the Christmas trees. pretty simple stuff, methinks. Yes the article says he is appalled. I wonder how appalled he would be if we put crosses up in his synagogue? This is a Christmas display to celebrate a Christian holiday. Just leave it alone, Rabbi.

Or burned some crosses outside his synagogue. Or took a hammer to his menorah. For Christmas! Fighting that War on Christmas which you can’t have without a War on Chanukah.

An Urgent Call to Haredim to Spit on Larry Derfner

In this week or last’s week or whocareswhatweek’s Jerusalem Post, resident JPost Douchebag columnist Larry Derfner has brought welcome attention to the very grave problem that all Haredim are subhuman animals who spend all day spitting on Christian clergy. This is an urgent story that was not at all made up by a bunch of bored priests who are running low on children. It is also far more important than say the fact that Israel has turned over much of the country to a bunch of homicidal terrorists who keep trying to kill Jews.

But I have the answer. It is of course very wrong for Jews or anyone to spit on random Christian clergymen. Very deeply wrong. It’s not like you can know whether any given monk deserves to be spit on. By contrast Larry Derfner definitely deserves to be spit on.

If you think I’m wrong just take a look at this photo

That’s Larry Derfner‘s official Jerusalem Post photo and he looks like one of those middle aged douchebags who hang around the Jersey Shore trying to hit on girls half their age and talking about Springsteen all the time. You can practically smell the overpowering stench of cologne from this side of the screen.

I don’t think there’s any Haredi, Sefardi, Dati Leumi, Anglican Monk, Arab Terrorist and French Tourist who couldn’t get behind the idea of spitting on Larry Derfner.

If there’s anybody in Israel whose face just demands to be spit on it’s Larry Derfner. In just the last minute writing about him and looking at his picture, I began uncontrollably spitting at my monitor until it’s now covered in so much saliva I can’t even see the screen.

So let’s stop spitting at people in red and black who think god was a 33 year old virgin with daddy issues, and start spitting on someone who really deserves it, Larry Derfner, King of the Douchebags. Together we will discover that we have more in common than we ever realized.