Worst Fiddler on the Roof Production Ever Averted

You can’t keep a good FAG down (see video). 140 people nobody ever heard of, plus Ed Asner, Theodore Bikel the 86 year old megastar who goes around obscure parts of the world hoping someone will let him play Tevye again (now coming to Calgary!), Vanessa Redgrave (No, she’s not dead. Yes she still hates Jews.) and completely off the wall choices like Jennifer Tilly (being fat, drunk and crazy wasn’t enough for her), Cynthia Nixon (the ugly one from Sex and the City. I mean the REALLY ugly one) and Julianne Moore (did a Jew run over her cat or something) signed a petition saying they’re “overjoyed and grateful” that a bunch of snotty Israeli actors won’t perform because they don’t want to travel more than 10 kilometers out of Tel Aviv.

I don’t know what this actually means. Probably that the good people of Ariel won’t get to see Jennifer Tilly, Cynthia Nixon and Julianne Moore play Tevye’s three daughters in the worst production of Fiddler on the Roof ever. But that probably wasn’t going to happen anyway.

Good news. There will now be peace in the Middle East because FAG took a standing for boycotting people. And signed on to stuff they read about in the newspapers. But some advice to Wallace Shawn, never get involved in a land war in the Middle East. You’re short enough as it is.

Who knows why half the cast of The Princess Bride decided to boycott the Jews, but so far Cary Elwes, Fred Savage and Billy Crystal haven’t taken a stand. And Andre the Giant has sent a message by Ouija board that he supports us.

“As actors it’s our responsibility to read the newspaper, and then say what we read on television like it’s our own opinion”

“Matt Damon!”

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