Reform Rabbi Alvin H. Reines, of Cincinnati’s Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, turns the tables and regretfully excludes Orthodoxy from his concept of Judaism. Reines contends that there is no single entity describable as Judaism, but rather a variety of Judaisms over the ages, each fashioned to its time. Some have lingered on and now coexist, but the common denominator of most is flexibility. Reines would like to see basic unity among believing Jews under an umbrella he calls “polydoxy.” Poly-doxy’s working principle recognizes the “radical freedom” of every human being to create his own religion for his own “finite needs.” By its very nature, says Reines, this formulation excludes those, like the Orthodox, who would restrict complete human freedom with divine commandments.
And Rabbi Alvin and the Chipmunks decided that Judaism that is based on Judaism is not Judaism, but only Judaism not based on Judaism is real Judaism.
Following along, since human beings constantly change and the nature of humanity is change, any Rabbi Alvin who is based on the Rabbi Alvin that existed a year before, is not the true Rabbi Alvin. And we can exclude him from our PolyAlvinity. Because being Rabbi Alvin is not about identity, it’s about the freedom of anyone to be Rabbi Alvin.
We can actually say that everyone but Rabbi Alvin, is Rabbi Alvin. While Rabbi Alvin is the one man who cannot be Rabbi Alvin, because he’s too much like Rabbi Alvin. Retarded? Very. But this is what qualifies as Reform theology. G-d help us all.
This was 1972. It’s gotten worse since.