The 10 Worst Things Judge Andrew Napolitano has Said

Judge Andrew Napolitano, the man with the face of a weasel, says stupid things the way pigs fart. He also says awful things because it’s the best way to be popular with men who live in their own bunkers and sleep in Swastika bedsheets.

1. Judge Andrew Napolitano on Arizona’s Immigration Law

She’s gonna bankrupt the Republican Party and the state of Arizona. She’s also gonna bankrupt her state, because no insurance company will provide coverage for this.

2. Judge Andrew Napolitano on Bush and Cheney

They should have been indicted. They absolutely should have been indicted, for torturing, for spying, for arresting without warrant.

3. Judge Andrew Napolitano on why he thinks we fought the Cold War

“We fought a cold war against countries in eastern Europe that thought they had the power to stop people on the basis of the way they looked and demand to see their papers.”

4. Judge Andrew Napolitano on 9/11

“People will look at 9-11 the way we look at the assassination of JFK today. It couldn’t possibly have been done the way the government told us.”

5. Judge Andrew Napolitano channels Lenin

“The revolution, which we are in the early stages of, will first cause our empire to crumble. I mean, we simply will not be able to finance over 900 permanent military installations all around the globe. And those people will be free from our occupation. Now, the second stage of the revolution, in his view and in mine, is sort of like what happened the Soviet Union fell. When the Soviet Union fell, the countries that it had occupied from before, during, and after World War II became free countries.”

6. Judge Andrew Napolitano on Israel and Terrorism

“Some people theorize that Israel’s extreme tactics have provoked more extreme responses from the terrorists. Hence the Israel-terrorist cycle continues.”

7. Judge Andrew Napolitano on Nazi Saboteurs during WW2

“The Court persisted in its abominable disregard for civil rights when it faced a small band of Germans and German-Americans charged with treason.”

8. Judge Andrew Napolitano on the Chicago murderers of a police officer

“They were courage personified, men with the hearts of wolves.”

9. Judge Andrew Napolitano on terrorist collaborator Lynn Stewart

“The conviction of Lynne F. Stewart for providing material aid to terrorism and for lying to the government is another perverse victory in the Justice Department’s assault on the Constitution.”

10. Judge Andrew Napolitano is outraged by Americans preying on Muslim terrorists

“Rossmiller came across a posting on bravemuslim.com by a man calling himself “Amir Abdul Rashid” who was “edging toward violence”. Rossmiller posed as an Algerian with ties to a militant Islamic group and send Rashid an email entitled A Call to Jihad. Rashid responded by asking whether a “brother fighting on the wrong side could defect”. After she exchanged twenty-seven emails with Rashid, she learned that Rashid was really a US National Guardsman about to be deployed in Iraq. She reported Rashid to the government since he appeared to be willing to share information on American troop vulnerabilities with the enemy.

Rossmiller preyed on an individual who was innocent. After he was convicted by a court martial, he was sentenced to life in prison. The crime was attempted treason. Who did he harm?

Judge Andrew Napolitano. Constitutional scholar. Who doesn’t know when to use “who” or “whom”. But he knows everything else. Like how Bush is Hitler and Cheney is Supa-Hitler and the Nazis, Anarchists, Communists and Terrorists are victims of our occupation. And when we withdraw from our occupation of countries like Germany and Japan, they’ll finally be free.

Lord have mercy.

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This is the Stupidest Thing the Washington Post Will Ever Print

This is the Washington Post. This is WAPO on pure unfiltered Grade A stupid. It’s a 3 page Washington Post column about Dancing with the Stars. I could accept a 3 page Washington Post column on the psychological damage that TV does to viewers. Or even a 3 page column from the paper’s TV critic. But that’s not what this is. This is the rants that fans post on blogs and in comments. It’s not writing. It’s agonizing. It’s a religious column from a woman who probably can’t even spell religion.

Sally Quinn has a WaPo column On Faith. Somehow it’s actually a column about how much she hates that the celebrity she doesn’t like is winning her favorite stupid TV show, instead of the celebrities she does like. I don’t see God in there. Maybe somebody else does.

The unholy (s)election of Bristol Palin

This is the kind of gag only bored methodists think is funny.

My secret fantasy is to be on “Dancing” but of course I would never dare… And Carrie Ann, regretfully: “Sally, you’re a good journalist. Why do you want to put yourself through this?”

If this is a sample of her journalism,  Sally should try dancing instead.

My husband and I are “DWTS” fanatics.

Your husband is having an affair or is gay. Trust me on this one.

We plan our social life around it, often regretting invitations that fall on the night of the show. Only in emergencies would we try to TiVo.

Why do we even make fun of the Jersey Shore cast when people like this have regular Washington Post columns?

Not only that, but I vote.  Under the show’s rules, you’re allowed to vote five times on one line. I have six lines at home and my cell, so I vote as many times as I can for my favorite. This season, I’m voting for Jennifer Grey all the way. She is by far the best dancer on the show.

My name is Sally. I am 6 years old. My favorite dancer is Jennifer Grey because she’s so pretty and I bet she smells like ponies. I hope she wins and makes everyone dance for her.

“The Situation” was much better too and was sent packing. But it wasn’t until Rick Fox got eliminated after a fabulous routine that I realized something was terribly amiss.

The ‘something amiss’ is that you’re getting all worked up over minor celebrities pretending to dance on a TV show.

We were having a dinner party and I made my guests leave the table to watch the final half of DWTS. Norman Lear was with us. Norman is not a DWTS follower but got caught up in the moment too. As the music started and I waited breathlessly to see Bristol be told she was out. I was squeezing Norman’s hand when Brandy, not Bristol, was sent home. I couldn’t believe it.

Poor Norman Lear. He’s gone from writing groundbreaking TV shows, to sitting while a crazy lady rants about her favorite fake TV shows to him, while crushing his hand.

It seemed Bristol and her partner were just as surprised. Brandy cried. I have to confess I teared up. It just didn’t seem right.

I wept too. I wept that a national newspaper is giving this inches of space while children are dying in Africa.

Bloggers, columnists and TV commentators jumped on the results.  There must be cheating going on, they said.  It was all a tea party plot. That could be the only explanation for this appalling miscarriage of justice.

Don’t laugh.

I’m not laughing. It’s more sad, than funny.

I never remember all Ten Commandments off the top of my head, but there should be one that says, “Thou shalt not cheat while voting on ‘Dancing with the Stars.'”

Also there should be one that says, “Thou Shalt Not Write About This Drivel Outside of Fan Forums”

Polls have shown that the majority of tea party members are conservative Christians. Are these Christians who are voting 300 times and not using valid email addresses? Doesn’t it offend their sense of fairness, if not ethics and morals?

What would Jesus think? Would Jesus would for Briston Palin? WOULD HE VOTE FOR HER WHILE DRIVING A Hummer? Concerned and very stupid people would like to know.

Are these the same people who voted for Sarah Palin, for many of the candidates she endorsed this past election, and will be voting for her candidates in 2012? They may well be voting for her for president.

Finally we have proof that Sarah Palin is no good. People who will stoop to voting more than the allowed five times on a stupid celebrity dancing show are immoral monsters, who are no better than the Taliban.

Perhaps Sarah Palin could say to her supporters that she hopes the stories of rigging the vote aren’t true; that she doesn’t approve of cheating and may the best person win.

Or maybe she could not waste time on something that stupid.

Whatever the reasons for this, it has left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth, not only for the perception of dishonesty, but because of the perceived determination of Palin”s supporters to do anything they have to do to help their candidate.

This is like the time that people got so angry at Nixon because he canceled Charles in Charge.  And no one trusted him ever again.

This could be a metaphor for things to come. Sarah Palin is a force to be reckoned with and if her supporters can influence a TV show of 23 million viewers they can have more serious influence on elections. And if they can mobilize the religious right then the Democrats better pay attention and start dancing as fast as they can.

To garnish the epic stupidity of this train of thought, we have a Washington Post columnist who works backward from the success of Bristol Palin on a TV show to extrapolate that maybe this Palin person might actually have some support after all. Only in America. Only in the Washington Post.

And as for the people who cheated when they voted, all I can say is, “Lord have mercy!

No, putting in Lord Have Mercy, at the end DOES NOT MAKE THIS A RELIGIOUS COLUMN. If it worked that way, I could write Sally Quinn’s biography and stick Lord Have Mercy at the end.

The unholy (s)election of Bristol Palin

TSA, Rape, Rape, Rape!

This is not a post about how crazy TSA agents are going on a crotch grabbing rampage. It’s about how quickly every blog turns into Antoine Dodson, screaming, “Y’all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband cause the TSA is rapin’ everybody out here.”

A CBS poll showed that most people don’t actually have a problem with the scanners. But who are you going to believe, “people” or the Drudge Report?

The Drudge Report and every other blog out there are going nuts about a video showing a boy being strip searched. Except the video actually shows the father taking the boy’s shirt off. There’s no strip search. But who cares, when we can make jokes about strip searches and junk groping, and unleash all that outrage on a bunch of underpaid people doing their jobs, who are no more perverts or pedophiles, than the average teacher or priest or doctor.

Look I know flying sucks. Terrorism has made it suck more. There are plenty of awful stories about TSA searches of disabled people. But the TSA doesn’t exist because a bunch of Senators like making 12 year olds cry. They exist to try and prevent terrorists from smuggling explosives on board. This isn’t some hypothetical problem. We’ve had a bunch of these cases. And when the “Underwear Bomber” is an actual thing, then yes we have scanners that show you naked.

The only people who see you naked on that scanner can’t see who you are. Unlike your doctor or nurses. And what they see isn’t going to turn them on. They see thousands of scans. Reversed images that are about as sexual as an X-ray. They’re not masturbating to those scans. They’re looking for any problems.

Pat downs are same sex. Less than 5 percent of the population is gay. And most gay people are not joining the TSA. So the odds are that TSA agents enjoy patting down travelers, about as much as the travelers enjoy it. Most of them aren’t pedophiles either. Or enjoy making children cry. Some of them are morons. Some follow procedures without understanding what those procedures are for. Some get off on a sense of power.

But you get that same proportion among cops who can arrest you on a whim, drag you down to the police station and strip search you. The TSA’s powers are nothing compared to the powers of your own police force, who can burst into your home, drag you off and strip you naked. They can do it to you on the street. They can even film everything that they do to you. And your odds of holding them accountable for it are almost nil.

You want real outrage. Go to this link at your own risk.

That’s something to be outraged about. And it’s been going on for much longer than you think. With no excuses about terrorism or trying to save hundreds of people from being blown to hell.

But there’s no outrage over stuff like this. The police are “heroes” who are keeping us safe. But TSA agents are monster molesters. It’s hypocrisy. The difference between the cops who did this to Hope Steffey and other women in Stark Country and TSA agents is that most of us think we’ll never be Hope Steffey. Because we’re not “bad people”. But a lot of us are worried that TSA agents will humiliate us, even though we did nothing wrong.

All the yelling about the TSA is just so much bullshit that proves the Drudge Report can still feed a media panic, even if Matt Drudge has to draw on material from Alex Jones, Prison Planet and Raw Story (those are the sites he was linking to when he kicked off the frenzy).

You want to be outraged about your rights? You have no rights. When the government can seize your home and hand it over to turn into a parking lot for Wal-Mart, when police officers can beat and strip you with no justification and you can be arrested if you’re not carrying identification with you, THEN YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS. Making a fuss over some naked scanners and pat downs is pathetic.

Your daughters are being strip searched? Please, your daughters have been strip searched for over 50 years. You didn’t complain about it because the odds were good that it wouldn’t actually be your daughter. Just someone else’s daughter. Someone else’s daughter who took a wrong turn or racked up an extra ticket and was taken to the police station and strip searched.

You didn’t have a problem with giving up your rights as long as you thought that it wouldn’t really affect you. Now that you know it does, you’re upset. But it’s not the TSA’s fault. It’s your fault.

Really, How is this Hard?

I don’t like the church or the pope and I think their position on contraception has to do with making more Catholics, while ignoring the starvation in Africa, but come on.

The news outlets are acting like Benedict is now okay with condoms. He’s not okay with condoms (I almost wrote condors and then had to fix it) in contraception. He’s only okay with it for gays doing their thing. And two gay men having sex with each other can never lead to a baby, unless one of them is actually a woman in disguise.

It’s like the media has gone full retard and can’t report on stories anymore at a level above a fifth grader. The Catholic Church is not opposed to condoms because they hate small rolled up plastic baggies, but because they’re opposed to contraception. Gay men using condoms is not contraception. Benedict thinking out loud, that maybe gay men using condoms with each other is not so bad, because at least they won’t transmit HIV to each other, is not all that out of line with church policy.

So chill. Seriously.

And now because I can’t stop thinking about condors, here are condors.

And now here’s condorman making James Bond cry.

I think we’ve settled this issue for good now.

HEIL HITCHENS! Christopher Hitchens Jumps the Shark of his own Anti-Semitism

where is hitchens

Like Hitler ranting in the bunker of his own cancer, Christopher Hitchens is rotting from the inside and the outside. Aww am I being mean? He’s a dying man. So he should get to run as many vile racist articles as he wants without ever being called on it. Cause he’s got cancer. And when you have cancer, you burn crosses and crib from Mein Kampf as much as you want, and you’re still a saint.

Hitchens has been adopted by some right wingers because he hates Muslims. They overlook his hatred for Christians, Jews and religious people in general. But his Antisemitism (yes I know he has some Jewish ancestry, so did Torquemada) has really gone over the top this time. His latest article could have been written by his buddy David Irving and is already a hit on antisemitic websites.

The title is “Israel’s Shabbos Guy”. As in…

“We are doing Israel’s dirty work for them. Aren’t you, as a gentile American taxpayer, tired of being Israel’s shabbos goy, and Sharon’s personal butt-monkey.”

That’s not from Hitchen’s article. That’s from Stormfront. But it’s hard to tell the difference anymore. Hitchens calls Rabbi Ovadya Yosef the “Sephardic Ayatollah”, because Jews from the Middle East are just like Muslims. (No racism to see here, move along.)

You can pick up his thesis at Stormfront or any Neo Nazi site. Judaism is a racist religion. Jews humiliate and abuse America. And how much is the poor gentile Shabbos goy supposed to take from those uppity kikes anyway? (Until it rounds them up and sticks them into gas chambers. Or gets some of those nice Palestinians to do it for them.)

It’s 2010 and Slate is running a piece that reads like it was written in 1934.

“This is a national humiliation,” Christopher Hitchens screeches, because Israel didn’t immediately give in to Obama’s latest demand. That goddamned kike Netanyahu actually said he has to run it by his fucking cabinet. Who does he think he is anyway? The leader of a parliamentary democracy? When Obama tells him to do something, he should just jump and do it. Never mind that democracy stuff.

And all the Brownshirts chorus and agree. What is it with Nazis, wannabe Nazis and their deep sense of national humiliation”? Is it a small penis issue? If Netanyahu doesn’t fall to his knees and kiss Obama’s shiny boots, then it’s a national humiliation. Is it still a national humiliation if he waits a week before kissing his boots? Really, oh my. You can see why Christopher Hitchens spent so much time defending David Irving. Both those cunts are on the same page.

The mathematics of the situation must be evident even to the meanest intelligence. In order for any talk of a two-state outcome to be even slightly realistic, there needs to be territory on which the second state can be built

Ve need Lebensraum. Ze Jews must go. Ve ship to the east, ja? Heil Hitchens!

The only mystery is this: Why does the United States acquiesce so wretchedly in its own disgrace at the hands of a virtual client state?

Dude, did you not get the memo? The Jews run America. That’s why. That’s why those damned kikes and their client state can “disgrace” America by… building homes in their own nation’s capital. It’s a NATIONAL HUMILIATION. And the small penis jackboot squad will not stand for it!

HOW CAN WE ACCEPT THE HUMILIATION OF OTHER COUNTRIES NOT DOING WHAT WE SAY, WHEN WE TELL THEM TO DO IT? It’s a disgrace. A shocking disgrace. We’re slaves of those kikes, I tells ya.

A soft version of Rabbi Yosef’s contemptuous view of the gentiles is the old concept of the shabbos goy: the non-Jew who is paid a trifling fee to turn out the lights or turn on the stove, or whatever else is needful to get around the more annoying regulations of the Sabbath. How the old buzzard must cackle when he sees the gentiles actually volunteering a bribe to do the lowly work!

See, those damned kikes have turned gentiles into their Shabbos Goy. And the Aryans are the unwitting slaves of the cunning old Jew buzzards who secretly control everything. They’re even cackling some of their “Jewcackles (TM)”. The special cackles, that Jews only cackle when tricking gentiles. And running a worldwide conspiracy. And stealing all the world’s chocolate.

And somewhere Hitler’s bastard son is contemplating a plagiarism lawsuit against Christopher Hitchens.

This craven impotence will be noticed elsewhere, and by some very undesirable persons, and we will most certainly be made to regret it.

So it’s not a small penis, it’s impotence. I should have guessed. Poor Chris, impotent and writing diatribes about the damn Jews who took America’s potency away. Wait, wait is trying to write like Buddy Goebbels Jr, the only way Hitchens can get an erection anymore? By Jove, I think it is!

Is Jewbaiting Hitchen’s Viagra? Or is it just a substitute?

For now, though, the shame.

Yes, the shame. Hitchens wraps up his long career of supporting Marxism and terrorism with good old fashioned Anti-Semitism.

Heil Hitchens.