Christianity, Islam, Reform Judaism


Dateline: Lots of Aqueducts and Togas

A new religion is spreading throughout the empire. Many Romans are converting or harmonizing with a funny little religion from a funny little people in a place the Empire calls Palestine.

The religion is a national religion, so it’s a poor fit. Across the Roman Empire, non-Jews play around with Judaism. They stop by synagogues, they discuss the ideas, they adopt some laws, eventually they make it their own. A blend of their religions with the foreign religion. They eventually call it Christianity.



Dateline: Whole bunch of camels

Judaism is spreading across Arabia carried by Jewish refugees from the fall of Jerusalem and the wars following it, and the Arab mercenaries who went to help take it down, but brought back more than loot, they brought back ideas. Entire Arab tribes and a few kings begin practicing enough of the Jewish religion, that history will call them Jews.

The Jewish religion is just as incompatible with Arabia as it was in Rome. Just like in Rome, it fuses together into a new religion. Islam.



Dateline: Truth, Justice and the Walmart Way

Guess what’s going down dawg. Yo. Reform Judaism is off the hook. Ain’t too many Jews going into it, but if you want a relig that’s got no rules, but makes you feel special, it’s either this or go Presbyterian. You feel me?

Christianity and Islam happened because Judaism became popular with non-Jews. But Judaism can’t go non-Jewish. When it does a new religion is born. Get it?

What flavor of Judaism is so popular with non-Jews that it’s leaving Dimension J and is about to become its own religion. Yeah I know, Chabad, but let’s call that Plan C. If Chabad ever begins major conversions, we’re there. Now it’s Reform Judaism that is taking in a lot of non-Jews and is heading into a whole new place. New religions get born out of that place.

Reform Judaism shed the national stuff. It’s a place to get intermarried and where pasty girls named Rachel or Yael volunteer to drive hot meals down to the ghetto. It’s merging with the sang-froid zeitgeist of the vibeness of the age. It’s as American as apple pie and cowboys. It’s to America, what Christianity was to Rome and Islam was to Arabia. A religion that connects and isn’t tied down witha ll that Jew stuff.

Happy New Religion. Let’s see how many Jews this one kills.

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