ARE YOU THE VICTIM OF A NARCISSIST?

Have you built an entire identity around being a victim? Are you compulsively unable to stop from rehashing every petty detail in your life and blaming it on someone else? Have you had an affair with a married man who stayed married even though he told you he was going to leave his wife and you like totally believed him because why would a guy who cheats on his wife lie to you anyway?

YOU MAY BE THE VICTIM OF A NARCISSIST

“Narcissist” comes from the Greek (Narcissus, or Spirit of the Self-Help Books Section). Narcissists are typically people with more self-esteem than you. Narcissists victimize their victims for life by having an affair with them and then moving on. This cripples their victims for life and leaves them unfit to do anything but write about the dangers of narcissism and long for the return of the Phil Donahue Show.

John Gray discovered the term “Narcissist” in 1684 while he was looking for more things that men and women do differently. Since then many Nobel Prize winning physicists have devoted years of their life to studying the issue and found nothing, because they were men, and men suck!

The NHS has recently declared a “Narcissism Epidemic” and warned everyone who’s stupid and whiny to stay indoors, and avoid sneezing near cat covered furniture.

There are easy ways to identify a Narcissist. A Narcissist in the early stages of a relationship is really into you. Then he seems less interested. This may be a sign that the relationship isn’t working out, OR IS THAT JUST WHAT THE NARCISSIST WANTS YOU TO THINK WHILE HE KEEPS PLAYING GAMES WITH YOUR MIND?

If you’re reading this, you already know the answer to that.

Also a Narcissist’s moods change. One day he can be angry, and another day he can be happy. Narcissists also often have noses, eyes and long evil mustaches which they twirl while muttering darkly about their plans to steal all the earth’s diamond reserves IN ORDER TO POWER THEIR NARCISSISM.

Narcissists can be anybody. A schoolteacher. A bus driver. A donut hole puncher. But they’re most likely to be someone you were in a bad relationship with, but was totally not your fault, CAUSE HE WAS A NARCISSIST. And he controlled your mind! And your thoughts! And your dreams! And your pastries!

The only way to break free of a Narcissist’s influence is to talk about him non-stop. Only by spending the next few decades going on about Narcissists, can you finally liberate yourself to have a healthy normal relationship with the pillow next to you in the old age home.

Some therapists will advise you to get on with your life instead. Avoid them because THEY ARE CLEARLY NARCISSISTS. Instead pick a therapist whose conversations with you will help her write a book about how women can identify Narcissists that Oprah might select for her book club. And then you’ll be on TV with her. And then you can write your own book. And won’t that be so much better than not having a crazy obsession that prevents you from living a normal life?

The Invisible Woman

“I am an invisible man. No, I am not a trace or a special effect. I have at least a physical referent. I have bone and flesh and sinew and gristle. I have angers and passions… I am invisible, then, not because of some accident of biology, some genetic mishap, but because of a peculiar disposition of the eyes of the people who look at me.

I would often bump up against people who, surprised at being bumped and jostled by an invisible man, would cry out and shove me. I cannot blame them, when you think you know where someone stands, of course you get angry when they turn out

to be somewhere else and you trip over them as you go about your business.”

The Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison

“EDITORIAL CLARIFICATION: From our first day of publication, Mispacha following the ruling of Gedolei Yisrael, has implemented a policy of not publishing the pictures of women even if there are no breaches of tznius associated with the picture. We are sensitive to the feelings of readers who wish to avoid looking at pictures of women in all circumstances. We feel it is appropriate to honor their wish so that they too can enjoy Mispacha magazine without lowering their level of observance.”

Mispacha Magazine

Sensitive. Feelings. Gedolim. What a great mix of modern SensitivtySpeak (TM) and FrumFallback (TM). Of course there’s no need to be sensitive to half the Jewish people who may not want to be turned into invisible people just because some readers don’t want to look at them or remember that they exist. They don’t matter. As usual only the InsaneChumra (TM) crowd does. Everyone else must accommodate their insanity.

It’s not about Tznius. It’s about the existence of women, period. It doesn’t matter how she’s dressed. Her crime is being a woman. And woman = sin. There’s nothing a woman can do to escape that, her very presence apparently causes sin, in those oversensitive souls. Once upon a time people like that would have gained a reputation for holiness by never leaving the house. Today they want to leave the house, and expect everyone else to stay home or stay out of their way.

This same warped thinking brings us separate sidewalks and shopping hours. Because if you can cut a woman out of a photo, why not cut her out of real life too?

And so we get the Invisible Woman, you’re not supposed to see her, but she’s there anyway. After all someone has to go out and work while the sensitive souls learn in Kollel and someone’s family has to pay for the house and buy the watch and the Tallit with the silver atarah. Someone has to raise the kids until the boys are old enough to spend all their time in Yeshiva and the girls can be put on the fast track to being married off to underwrite another Kollel family. She has to do all this and be invisible too.

“I am invisible, then, not because of some accident of biology, some genetic mishap, but because of a peculiar disposition of the eyes of the people who look at me.”

It’s a truly sad state of affairs when the Charedi world not only has to treat half  its population like crap but demands that they be invisible too. Because just their walking down the street or standing in a kitchen inspires sin.

These pretzels are making me thirsty. This woman is making me sinful. I’m not the one doing it. This photo of Laura Bush is. Funny that the Aseret HaDibrot only mentions married women, but coveting goes on anyone’s property. If we followed that reasoning, a picture of someone else’s house should be assur in a magazine, not that of an unmarried woman or a 10 year old girl. But we don’t follow the Aseret HaDibrot, we follow the rulings of Gedolei Yisrael, whichever of them rule something or supposedly rule it, or are intimidated by Kanoyim into ruling it.

So bring on the Lifestyles of the Machers and Rebbes, but don’t you dare show a woman in your paper.

Anyone who really can’t look at a picture of a woman should be consistent enough never to leave the house or go anywhere where he might encounter women. He either has a massive Yetzer Hara or is a Chassid Soteh. Or both. But if you’re going to drive into Manhattan, and then claim that your frumkeit prevents you from being able to tolerate women in a magazine, you’re full of crap.

“I would often bump up against people who, surprised at being bumped and jostled by an invisible man, would cry out and shove me. I cannot blame them, when you think you know where someone stands, of course you get angry when they turn out

to be somewhere else and you trip over them as you go about your business.”

It really is a sad state of affairs when women are reduced to reading something like The Moon’s Lost Light which makes the controversial claim that yes, G-d made women stupid, but since Moshiach is coming soon, they might just be getting smart enough to open a Gemara if they really want to.

Fantastic. You know that Ve’Ahavta Le’Reacha thing, it doesn’t apply to women. How about Hillel’s rule? Nope, doesn’t either.

But for a moment imagine if a non-Jewish magazine published that Mispacha photo, but instead of cutting out Laura Bush, they cut out the two Rabbis, and explained that some of their readers prefer not to look at pictures of Jews, and they want everyone to be able to enjoy their magazine.

What would that be? Right. Anti-Semitism. How does that apply to the current situation? Look up Hillel, maybe he can explain it to you.

Women are not sin incarnate. Men are not animals. If we can all agree on that, maybe we can start treating each other like human beings for a change, instead of photoshopping the First Lady out of the White House’s Kosher Kitchen while dressing in black and heading to certain private apartments in Manhattan to satisfy your yetzer hara. It’s just a thought, but who knows what could come from it.

Peace, out.

Nigerian Jailbird Exploiting Kosher to get Goodies

Newsday, the Danbury Times are among the papers carrying the story

All Agnes Kole wants is for Danbury federal prison officials to allow its Jewish inmates to buy such Passover staples as chicken, gefilte fish and smoked salmon like they could for the past 12 years she’s been an inmate.

Instead, Kole claims the prison has cut back the Passover purchase list from 12 items to just matzos, grape juice, chocolate and macaroons.

So Kole, a New Jersey woman, has turned the cutbacks into a federal lawsuit.

“It’s retaliation,” Kole told U.S. District Judge Janet C. Hall this week. She claimed the reduction in available items stems from her complaining last year when the prison cut the amount Jewish inmates could spend on Passover food purchases from $290 to $100. Her efforts led to restoration of the higher figure.

The problem? Agnes Kole is not Jewish. She’s a Nigerian who was part of a massive heroin smuggling operation. Only the Newsday story mentions who she really is.

She is a Nigerian national accused of heading a group that brought more than 60 pounds of nearly pure heroin into the United States between November 1990 and August 1993.

Her real name seems to be Zaima Soto Muwanga. And the odds of her being Jewish are about as good as me being Nigerian.

Kosher food was about religious accommodation in prisons. But many prisoners who are not Jewish who make a career out of suing prisons are exploiting Kosher religious accommodations are piggybacking on it.

Remember Norman Lee Toler, the Neo-Nazi with SS Tattoos who decided he was Jewish and wanted Kosher food?

Missouri prison inmate Norman Lee Toler was once labeled as a white supremacist, after, authorities say, he was caught in an Illinois penitentiary with seven photos of Adolf Hitler and a fresh “SS” tattoo.

This week, however, Toler was in federal court in St. Louis, saying he is Jewish and that his soul will be in jeopardy if he is forced to eat nonkosher food.

Inmates in today’s prisons have often gotten good at using and playing the system by demanding their rights under the regulations. Some of those are legitimate, but Nigerians and White Supremacists demanding Kosher food is not.

Rabbanit Bruria Keren, Anorexia, Alternative Therapy and Women’s Religion

People in power like to believe that power means control. In the Haredi world the absolute supremacy of male leadership and the contempt for women has created the illusion that men are in charge. But when you oppress people, they just find alternate ways of expressing themselves.

Alternative Therapy has become the focal point for “women’s religion” in Haredi Judaism. Women can’t become Rabbis or Sofers or hold any position of religious authority but Alternative Therapy has been a back door to that and allowed women in the Haredi world to function as a cross between spiritual healers and therapists, incorporating Kabbalah, different energy healing programs and alternative therapies.

It’s absolutely no surprise then that one Alternative Therapist in Israel has created her own cult, Rabbanit Bruria Keren of the so-called Women of the Veil

Rabbanit Bruria Keren is functioning as a sort of early female Chassidic Rabbi with ascetic rather than joyful leanings, combining her alternative therapy and organic foods with the one legitimate outlet for Haredi Women and what’s been repeatedly described as a woman’s most important Mitzvah, Tznius. Her followers seem to cover converts and Baal Tesuvahs, many connected to Breslov. (A claim in the comments section says that Bruria Keren is herself a BT but the article states that she is from a Haredi family) Breslov’s splintered factions are spinning off a lot of crazy behavior and converts and BT’s often lack the ability to tell right from wrong in Judaism and embrace extremism as right.

All the bloggers who talk about being rendered speechless by Rabbanit Bruria Keren and her followers are missing the point. The obsessive focus on Tznius in the Haredi world has created a culture of insecurity for women. The followers of Rabbanit Bruria Keren have taken control of Tznius from men by imposing extreme versions of it on themselves. Their security in the righteousness of the Burka comes from the relief that they don’t have to worry that their Tznius is inadequate anymore and the Tznius paranoia was instilled in them by Haredi men in the first place. Converts and BT’s who would have the most boundary issues when adapting to Haredi ideas of Tznius in the first place were the most vulnerable.

Think of what’s going on with the Women of the Veil and Rabbanit Bruria Keren as “Clothing Anorexia”. Anorexics try to attain a perfect standard of thinness that they begin to engage in self-destructive eating behavior. These women are aiming for an impossibly perfect standard of Tznius and are engaging in self-destructive dressing behavior. Only when dressed in a tent can they feel secure in their holiness because they’ve been made to feel that their femininity is something shameful and dirty.

“At first I wore only three skirts and a cape. Then I read that Rabbanit Kanievsky, a well-known figure in the haredi community, covered the upper part of her hand (shoresh kaf hayad) with cloth. I looked at the place my fingers began, and saw that it was indeed very feminine. So I cut off the ends of some socks and wore them on my hand, to cover the part up to my fingers. At first I wore them only outside, because they bothered me at home. Gradually I also began to wear them at home, and now I sleep in them as well as in a high neckline. When one receives light, one receives holiness.”

It’s not too hard to see what’s going on here. The irrational pursuit of Chumras Ad Infinitum, the Tznius obsession and the embrace of mysticism and superstition along with dubious alternative therapies and the subjugation of women has created a tinderbox. Rabbanit Bruria Keren, who is undoubtedly completely sincere, is a symptom rather than the problem.

When you teach women to hate themselves, whether you do it with impossibly thin stick figure models or by obsessively telling women that their body is a vehicle for sin and it’s their fault if they don’t adopt the latest chumra, you are opening the door to the same problem. If you teach people to hate themselves, they will. Promiscuity and the Burka are two sides of the same ugly coin and two extremes meet in the middle for a poisonous kiss.

Women are particularly sensitive to body image. Haredi Judaism has spent too long driving out the female body as if they were exorcising some evil demon. Women’s bodies are wrapped up and women’s faces are banished from magazine covers and ads. So what is the logic in not covering women’s faces outright?

Haredi Judaism has spent so much time trying to force its followers into models of virtue, that like Victorian England, they’ve forgotten the inherent imperfections of people and instead taught them to hate each other and themselves. The Torah accepted human frailty far more than the Haredi world does today. The Torah is full of flawed people, the Gedolim biographies are full of saints.

Now Haredi Judaism has spawned or respawned a Catholic mania of self-mortification through clothing. And calling Rabbanit Bruria Keren names won’t help. Accepting women will. Tznius has its place but modesty and virtue have to exist within a human framework rather than an inhuman one because the Women of the Veil are the end result of the inhuman framework.

Right now Rabbanit Bruira Keren is catering to the fringe, Breslov, converts, BT’s. But this isn’t going away and things on the fringe can become mainstream. There are two kinds of rebellion, one is against the rules and one is an extreme adoption of the rules. Both are destructive and unhealthy but the Haredi world has cherished the latter while smearing the former as Godless. It’s time to return to the good and pleasant ways of the Torah and the ways of Hashem, to love each other rather than hate each other and to go neither to the right nor to the left, not to one extreme and not to another.

Give women a place in religious life beyond lecturing on Tznius, because Rabbanit Bruria Keren is the end result of that.

Ovada Yosef’s Chief Rabbi: Bring Millions of Ethiopians to Israel

Centuries or maybe even decades from now when Israel has been destroyed by the gang of greedy idiots running the country into the ground, it’s a tossup whether the most popular Jewish curse word will be Olmert or Shas.

Right now I’d bet on Shas which is the last leg under Olmert’s toilet coalition and whose Chief Rabbi just proclaimed he wants millions of Ethiopians to come to Israel.

“Their words imply that the immigration of millions of Ethiopians to this country is a curse. I wish millions would indeed come,” continued Rabbi Shlomo Amar, who also said he has sent a letter on the matter to Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.

Why not billions, as long as they vote Shas. Who said Israel is a Jewish state anyway? Yeah the actual Ethiopian Jews are saying these people are not Jews and they worship in Churches, but that’s okay as long as they put up Ovadya Yosef right next to Jesus.

Blogger Hysteria over Sex Abuse in the Orthodox Community: “Won’t Someone Please Think of the Children!!!”

These days nothing gets the assorted idiots of the Jblogsphere wound up like another accusation of child abuse against a Rabbi or a Rabbi making a statement that in some way or form maybe possibly minimizes the full seriousness of child abuse which is an issue we should be occupied with 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days of the year.

And now for a rebuttal from the Shrieking Idiot crowd.

WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!! AAAAH!!! WAAAH!!!

Thanks Shrieking Idiot.

Ever since an unmedicated nutjob calling himself UnOrthodox Jew began shrieking his fool head off, claims and accusations of child abuse in the Orthodox community has gotten MO bloggers to salivate over the promise of having their very own Catholic Church child sex abuse scandal to play with.

But let’s bottom line this bitch, SEXUAL ABUSE OF KIDS HAPPENS IN EVERY KIND OF INSTITUTION AND EVERY KIND OF INSTITUTION COVERS IT UP. Go look at the backlog, it happens in Catholic, Protestant, Reform, Conservative, Modern Orthodox, Haredi and Muslim and Buddhist and Secular Humanist schools.

Pedophiles don’t have a religion. Every type of institution also covers them up because they’re bad publicity and because every kind of institution covers up for their own.

Most of the MO bloggers shrieking on about sex abuse in the Haredi world wouldn’t give a fraction of this coverage to sex abuse in the Modern Orthodox world. How often has Hirhurim written about sex abuse in the MO world?

And now for a rebuttal from the shrieking idiot crowd.

WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN????

American hysteria about the sex abuse of children has long passed the bend into insane. The Jblogsphere is going down the same road. I got news for you guys, I have no problem calling the Haredi world on its defects, but if you think the MO world is any better, you’re living in Fantasyville.

Baruch Lanier anyone?

Hi Everybody, I’m a Duplicitious Frummie

Yeah me, I’ve finally arrived. I always wanted to be a duplicitous frummie ever since I fell asleep listening to my first Lipa CD while dreaming of writing a Gedolim biography. Now somebody give me my freaking Lexus and give it to me fast, I’ve got a raffle for some yeshiva to go to.

What’s all that about? Oh yeah. Let me backtrack. There are two kinds of people in the world. Sane people and insane people. Sane people might be annoying and obnoxious but you can actually debate them because they’re in the real world. Insane people are paranoid nutjobs who crusade for some wacko cause that lives inside their heads while assuming instantly that everyone who disagrees with them is aligned with their enemies.

So when I wrote a post shredding David Kelsey’s rambling paranoid delusions about NCSY over on Jewschool, he responded with an even crazier post on his own blog,Duplicitous Frummie Defends NCSY P.S. Infestation and Haredi Recruitment. Duplicitous frummie? Yeah he doesn’t read this blog much does he. But paranoid people always have lots of enemies even if they have to make them up.

Anyway. Let’s look at Mohel’s actual rebuttals, which though explained only a little, in between Mohel’s very great and justified outrage at me daring to question NCSY’s role in public school high school education and their wonderful role in helping to get our kids (but only a minority! And fuck the minority!) to attend haredi institutions. And of course, Mohel is upset at my unbelievable “idiocy” and “stupidity,”

Outraged? Upset? Dude I think you’re an amusing nutjob. I reserve my outrage for things that actually kill people and your posts haven’t killed anyone except maybe people’s brain cells. I’m not outraged at you. I did you a favor by pointing out that your post was a ranting screed that destroyed any credibility you had and betrayed your batshit paranoia.

Who appointed you a spokesman for deciding that all those kids don’t want to go to Haredi institutions and that going there hurts them? Hell who appointed you a spokesman for anybody or anything? Guess what, institutions are a pro and con thing. MO and Haredi places all have their pros and cons. That’s what makes life great. You don’t want your kids going to Haredi institutions, don’t send them there. But I’ve seen BT’s, adult and teenagers, time and time again choose on their own to go to the harder line shuls and communities and yeshivas, even when I suggested otherwise. (And no I’m not in Kiruv.) It’s their choice. Choice, get it?

Most NCSY kids will not go to haredi institutions. So what? I am worried about the ones who do. I would also like the numbers for those who do, but NCSY has refused to reveal that annual number. Which makes me concerned it is not a low number at all.

Who appointed you to worry for them? If you read this blog I’m not the biggest fan of Haredim but going to Haredi schools isn’t a death sentence. It’s a choice. If you don’t like it, leave. I spent time in Haredi schools and I hated it. That helped define my identity. That’s what life experience is all about

Additionally, I do not believe that the public schools are the right place for recruiting even a minority of students into fundamentalism. It doesn’t take a majority for me to determine that this is a problem. That is simply not what public schools are for, and not something most liberal and secular Jewish parents understand is happening.

Yeah why should we interfere with the Southern Baptist Convention’s Bible clubs recruiting those kids. It’s gotta be better than the Haredim, right? And who exactly gave you the authority to decide that what you call “fundamentalism” is out of bounds? You don’t like their recruitment, set up your own and stop bitching about it.

Just as you are in our schools, you must allow us into your private Orthodox High Schools for our own “clubs.” And when I say us, I mean atheists, Reform Jews, Conservative Jews, and especially, Apikorsim.

Sure when your tax dollars are what’s paying for the schools and when they belong to the government, you have every right to demand that. You have no right to demand equal access to private schools. Remind me when Secular Humanism schools lets Chabad set up shop there. Seriously Dave, you know better than that.

Fair is fair. And there is nothing to fear. Right, Mr. Mohel? No reason for paranoia or hysteria. Let us come speak to the frum kids at your schools and at after school programs, just as you come to our schools and speak to our kids.

Sorry Dave, I have no kids but if I did, I wouldn’t let you anywhere near them. Or my dog. Or my silverware. Not because of your religion or lack thereof but I’m pretty sure you haven’t had your shots.

Let’s start with the school kids in your synagogue attend. No? Then get out of our public schools, or at least, shut up.

Look dude, they’re not your schools. Except in your warped brain. Now why don’t you get back on the meds, calm the f__ down and ease up on the anger. It’s not good for you, Dave.