Exclusive Interview With Jeffrey Goldberg About the Taste of Obama’s Cock

Samurai Mohel: I feel incredibly lucky and honored to be able to do this interview with you. You have always been a hero of mine and your work lately has been nothing short of incredible. Could you tell my readers a few things about yourself?

Jeffrey Goldberg: Okay, my name is Jeffrey Goldberg. I’m a lot like Thomas Friedman but without the mustache. I get paid a lot of money to go to cocktail parties and repeat back the things people say at them in my columns.

Samurai Mohel: That’s just amazing. It’s fantastic. Can I ask you a question?

Jeffrey Goldberg: May I.

Samurai Mohel: You’re absolutely right. May I ask you a question?

Jeffrey Goldberg: You can

Samurai Mohel: What does Obama’s cock taste like?

Jeffrey Goldberg: Very Jewish.

Samurai Mohel: Really?

Jeffrey Goldberg: I have never felt more Jewish than when I am going down on Barack Obama.

Samurai Mohel: Are you sure? Even at your Bar Mitzvah?

Jeffrey Goldberg: When I go down on Obama, I feel like I’m also going down on all his Jewish mentors who have influenced him and the Jews around him. So many Jews have sucked his cock over time that it’s practically Jewish.

Samurai Mohel: But aren’t you limiting the universalism of Obama’s cock when you put it like that?

Jeffrey Goldberg: No, because to me the taste of Jewish cock is the most universal taste possible. When I taste Obama’s cock, I’m also tasting my idea of a pantheistic Judaism that is not hedged in by limitations. Obama’s cock is the fight against segregation, it’s the end of apartheid and gay marriage. Everything Jewish to me is inside Obama’s cock.

Samurai Mohel: Still aren’t you being a bit tribal?

Jeffrey Goldberg: Tribal Jews are like Sheldon Adelson. They reject the universalism of Obama’s cock because they fear its otherness and the otherness of Hamas. Obama’s cock helps me break through barriers. And breaking through barriers is the essence of real Judaism.

Samurai Mohel: There are critics in the Jewish community who feel that you shouldn’t be sucking Obama’s cock.

Jeffrey Goldberg: Mhhm

Samurai Mohel: What do you say to them?

Jeffrey Goldberg: We live in a modern society. This is not some ghetto shtetl. They have to adapt to the modern world.

Samurai Mohel: They have to suck Obama’s cock?

Jeffrey Goldberg: I’m not going to tell them what to do. But they have to look at their kids. Their kids want it. Do they want to relate to their kids or not? There’s a new generation of Jews that aren’t interested in synagogues, but in Obama’s cock. How are you going to get them inside a synagogue except through Obama’s cock?

Samurai Mohel: Aren’t you ever worried about catching a disease? I don’t want to seem prejudiced or anything, but Obama really gets around. There are people sucking his cock from New York City to San Francisco to Tehran to Gaza.

Jeffrey Goldberg: We don’t live in a “safe” world. We take risks every day.

Samurai Mohel: And you feel that Israel should take a risk for peace by going down on Obama?

Jeffrey Goldberg: Unfortunately this Israel government has been stubborn about it.

Samurai Mohel: Netanyahu won’t do it?

Jeffrey Goldberg: He refuses and his refusal is alienating Israel from American Jews. How do I explain to my teenager why the Prime Minister of Israel refuses to suck Obama’s cock?

Samurai Mohel: Do you think Herzog would have been willing?

Jeffrey Goldberg: He told me personally how eager he was.

Samurai Mohel: Livni?

Jeffrey Goldberg: In a second.

Samurai Mohel: Yair Lapid?

Jeffrey Goldberg: Nothing new for him.

Samurai Mohel: Do you anticipate Israel finally getting a Prime Minister who will suck Obama’s cock?

Jeffrey Goldberg: I hope not. If that happens, Obama won’t need me anymore.

IDF Soldier Killed Trying to Assassinate Olmert

Update: Latest news says he was actually a Druze border guard. Family is denying the idea that he committed suicide.

Accompanied by the lamest cover up story to date.

An IDF soldier was reportedly killed Tuesday in the middle of a farewell ceremony at Ben-Gurion airport held in honor of French President Nicolas Sarkozy, in attendance of Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, President Shimon Peres and other state dignitaries, Israel Radio reported.

Police spokesman Shlomi Sagi said the policeman was killed in an apparent suicide, and police denied an attempted assassination attempt on Sarkozy.

However, a conflicting report said the soldier apparently fell from a vantage point he was occupying on a high building, from where he was securing the event, and the bullet that killed him misfired from his gun.

According to Israel Radio, the incident happened no more than 200 meters from where Olmert was standing.

Uh huh. So the soldier decided to commit suicide on duty while standing on a high vantage point with his own rifle! And then fell off a building. Yeah right.

Here’s a more plausible scenario. The soldier took aim at Olmert to end his corrupt charade. He was spotted by security that was doing sweeps of the airport taking aim at Olmert and was shot by a sniper. He fell off and was killed.

I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before. But they’re aiming at the wrong guy. Take out the Shas leaders and Olmert wouldn’t be in power for a day.

Messianic Jewish Hate Campaign Against Real Jews in Full Swing

Using the Ariel bombing as an excuse, Christian cults operating in Israel under the name Messianic Jews, particularly in Arad, have begun a campaign of hate against Jews.

Like Scientologists, the cults calling themselves Messianic Jews claim that they’re being persecuted. Numerous videos across YouTube with titles like “Now This is Why Everyone Hates Jews” document clashes that they generate with Jews. Meanwhile more “sympathetic” stories are being run on the Jerusalem Post which relies heavily on Christian dollars about how they’re persecuted. Not a word about the violent attacks, fraud and child abuse perpetrated by these cult members or their rabid hatred of Jews.

These cults calling themselves Messianic Jews operating in Israel are non-Jewish and actually violently hateful toward Jews. They sometimes try to disguise it with a Pro-Israel veneer but give them 5 minutes and they begin ranting about Pharisees and the Synagogue of Satan, Kabbalistic Satanism and really unleashing a vile torrent of filth. Aviad Cohen’s old videos before he had them taken down (formerly 50 Shekel) and a prominent cult member were typical of these.

The Messianic Jews are really Non-Jewish Christians with messed up belief systems ranging from carrying out present day sacrifices to believing that Jesus (or as they call Jesus, Yeshua) came on a UFO. They’re into defrauding people, bringing them into the cult and working them non-stop and siphoning away their life savings. Just like Scientology.

But these phony cults which call themselves Messianic Jewish synagogues and come with fake Rabbis don’t just take advantage of Jews, they take advantage of Christians. Rabbi Ari Crockett is a typical example. Messianic Jewish cults may call themselves Jewish but they’re mostly made up of Christians, which means they target Christians for cult membership. Christians who sympathize with them should remember that their sons and daughters could be next and that while that these fake Messianic Jews may talk a lot about Jesus, they’re no different than the Moonies or Harei Krishnas or any other cult.

They target both Jews and Christians for their cults. They use lies and deceit. They have lawyers to protect their cult leaders from their crimes. They use violence and terroristic threats. And their goal is to take control of people’s lives.

The most famous Messianic Jewish cult died horribly at Waco Texas when they murdered Federal agents to protect their child molesting leader, David Koresh. Like most messianic groups, they were mostly Christians with a handful of Jews. They were filled with hate for the outside world by their leader and willing to do anything.

It’s natural that Jews in Israel don’t want such people or such cults setting up shop. Just as virtually no country in the world allows them to set up their cults. So they’ve resorted to a Pro-Israel veneer running sites like IsraelToday.co.il that pretend to be Pro-Israel on the surface to shake down Christians and Jews for money. At Arad and with thugs like Eddie Beckford leading them, it’s easy to see their real face. Despite all the lies put out on the web by their messianic cult, the messianic cult in Arad, Eddie Beckford and his followers are the primary source of hate waging a ruthless campaign against the Jews of Arad.

In the town of Arad Messianic cult leaders like Eddie Beckford have waged a campaign of hate against Jews while using Messianic outlets to present themselves as innocent victims. Yet the above video which shows Eddie Beckford trying to run down a Jewish man doesn’t show an innocent victim. There are other videos that show violent assaults. Yet Beckford’s Arad cult has successfully blanketed YouTube with numerous videos filled with hate for Jews while portraying themselves as the victims based on a shouting match with some Orthodox Jews. What their videos don’t show is the violent assaults they’ve committed against Orthodox Jews.

Jews should stand with our fellow Jews of Arad against Eddie Beckford and his creepy cult and hateful intentions. Donate to Yad Leachim‘s programs and flag the Arad videos as hateful if you come across them.

Tear Your Bloody Tzizit!

Is this enough for you yet, you bastards?

Is this enough for you yet Shas? 300 million shekels. How many dead boys does that buy? How many votes does that buy. 30 million shekels a boy was the deal, eh Ovadya? Clutch those bloody shekels tightly you bastard and dream of making your idiot son Chief Rabbi of Yerushalayim, the city you’re bargaining away.

Is this enough yet for you, you idiots with your concert ban, as if not being able to hear Lipa do his best Chassidish tinged Shlock Rock impression was the biggest issue in the world? Is that enough for you? Enough with your petitions and your idiots posts complaining about the Gedolim? You want to know what your Gedolim did? Take a look at those bloody tzizit. That’s what they did. And that’s what you should have been outraged about. THAT!

Is this enough for you yet, you Obama defenders who step over blood to vote for the liberal idols?

Is this enough for you yet, you machers, you chappers, you kochleffels and you tehilim readers. Go read tehilim over the bodies of the dead and see if it will bring back a single one. Stop reading your Tehilim and cry out, cry out against the governments, demand action, shout, scream, behave like maniacs. Do something but don’t sit still and do nothing.

Is this enough for you yet, you petty fools with your petty fights? Is this enough with your chumras and your egalitarian minyans and your strawberries and your zoo rabbis. Does any of that really matter in the face of those bloody Tzizit? Or is it all foolishness and vanity, small minds and egos battering against each other while our brothers die?

Is this enough for you yet? In the name of God Almighty, if this is not enough for you yet, then what in the name of heaven and earth will suffice?

Are you mad that you sit and do nothing, that in an instant you go back to your old squabbling as if any of it mattered? Hold up these bloody tzizit, torn by bullets. Hold them up to the light. Blood will never wash out of them, the stain will always remain. Our Tzizit are torn and bloody. Our nation is torn and bloody and we wander like fools.

Is there no crime, no deed that will wake you from your suburban homes, your upper west side apartments? Nothing that will make you tear your hair, shout, scream and demand justice? Or are you as dead inside as they already are.

Tear your bloody Tzizit, tear them away, shred them on the earth, wash your hands of the blood but it cannot be washed away. Raise your voice in Zion, blow the Shofar and for once in your miserable empty lives, stand up for your brothers.

Creepy Bald Guy From Florida Fulfills Dream of Marrying Chinese Girl

The Jerusalem Post, the idiot’s outlet for news from Israel, brings us this compelling joyful story about a creepy bald guy from Florida with an Asian fetish who got his wish fulfilled.

The article is called “Chinese girl finds love on kibbutz” but it’s more accurate name should be about the creepy bald guy with the asian fetish who married her? Am I being unfair? Nein, because he can’t seem to shut up about how happy he is to marry an Asian chick who’s Rabbinically sanctioned. You get the idea he would have taken any Asian chick. Now I’ve got no idea if she’s on the level or not but sweaty creepy bald guy with asian fetish still creeps me out.

“For me, to have a proper religious Jewish wedding in Israel, it is a dream come true. I am very excited,” Li, 29, said prior to the ceremony.

Emmanuel, 25, said he never believed he’d marry an Asian woman until he met Li at Kibbutz Sde Eliahu’s Hebrew ulpan in May.

“I had heard about the old Jewish community of China and I love Asian women, but I thought it was far-fetched. I also thought that even if I had found a Jewish Chinese woman, the rabbinate would have never approved,” he said.

Okay Ami, you’re really into asian chicks, we get it. Hey maybe your big dream should have been to fall in love with and marry a Jewish girl, whatever country she was from, but now let’s move on.

“I came to Israel because I am a Jew,” she told The Jerusalem Post on Thursday while she was getting ready for the wedding. “I was raised knowing that I am a Jew and I made aliya because of our tradition.”

When I started studying Hebrew at the ulpan I saw Shoshana and I thought to myself that it was nice that Chinese people come to study the language. I didn’t even think that she was a Jew,” Emmanuel said. “After a while I asked her if she would like to spend some more time together and she said that we could try.”

“No one in the world is as happy as I am. I thought it was impossible to marry a Jewish woman from China. However, it seems miracles do happen, and this is the biggest miracle of my life,” the groom said.

Yeah, what a miracle. It’s right up there with the red sea. I mean creepy bald guy with asian fetish got to marry an asian girl. Let me pause to throw up now.

Meanwhile take a look at the difference between her worldview and his. She’s enthusiastic about becoming Jewish. He’s enthusiastic he got to marry an Asian girl. Now maybe there’s a lot more to this story and the reporter just picked out the quotes that make him look creepy. I mean if I was a reporter, that’s what I would do. But maybe he just is creepy and the reporter should have tried to conceal that creepiness a bit by asking him about things that don’t involve his obsession with asian women.

More than 150 friends and relatives, including some from the Kaifeng Jewish community, attended the wedding, which was organized by Michael Freund, the chairman and the founder of Shavei Israel, a Jerusalem-based organization that helps “lost Jews” return to the Jewish people.

“This wedding symbolizes the beginning of the return of the remnants of the Jewish community of Kaifeng to the Jewish people and to the State of Israel,” Freund said. “I cannot think of a more poignant example of kibbutz galuyot – the ingathering of the exiles.”

Uh Mike, let me think of one. How about the return of Jews to Israel, something that’s happening all the time. I’m sure Li is a very nice person but she has as much Jewish ancestry as half of Europe and America does by now. If we brought everyone to Israel who had a Jewish ancestor a few generations ago, we would run out of room real fast.

Unlike the Ethiopian aliyah being campaigned for or a lot of the Russian Aliyah, Li seems sincere, which is good.

Ovada Yosef’s Chief Rabbi: Bring Millions of Ethiopians to Israel

Centuries or maybe even decades from now when Israel has been destroyed by the gang of greedy idiots running the country into the ground, it’s a tossup whether the most popular Jewish curse word will be Olmert or Shas.

Right now I’d bet on Shas which is the last leg under Olmert’s toilet coalition and whose Chief Rabbi just proclaimed he wants millions of Ethiopians to come to Israel.

“Their words imply that the immigration of millions of Ethiopians to this country is a curse. I wish millions would indeed come,” continued Rabbi Shlomo Amar, who also said he has sent a letter on the matter to Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.

Why not billions, as long as they vote Shas. Who said Israel is a Jewish state anyway? Yeah the actual Ethiopian Jews are saying these people are not Jews and they worship in Churches, but that’s okay as long as they put up Ovadya Yosef right next to Jesus.