Blimey Cor, Reform Rabbi Jonathan Romain Declares War on Jewish Education

Rosh Hashana is usually the time when Jews gather to repent and to plan for ways to do good next year. But the way Satanist Churches have upside down crosses and black masses that are said backward, Reform take everything Judaism does and run it through backward. While Rabbis at Jewish synagogues were probably thinking of how to get more children involved in Jewish education, Rabbi Jonathan Romain of the Maidenhead Synagogue did his own Black Mass and came on a Rosh Hashana (or is that Ahanhsah Hsor) commitment to waging a relentless war on Jewish education.

On Monday the Jewish New Year begins. Unlike the secular new year — largely a boisterous time characterised by revelry and champagne — Rosh Hashannah is a very serious and sober occasion. Jews spend the day in synagogue, even the lapsed ones who do not normally attend services. We reflect on our conduct during the past 12 months and make resolutions to repeat the good things we did, remedy the hurts we caused and set goals for the coming year. Here lies my problem. My resolution this year may make sense to some, but will be seen as heresy to others, especially fellow rabbis (and many vicars and imams). I resolve to speak out against faith schools,

Isn’t that wonderful. It’s about time a Rabbi had the courage to condemn Jewish education and call for tearing down the Yeshivas. Johnny Romain (Lettuce?) may go down as the greatest Jewish thinker since that guy who sacrificed a pig on the altar in the temple 2000 years ago or so.

The problem with faith schools is not their purpose but their consequences. They may be designed to inculcate religious values, but they result in religious ghettos, which can destabilise the social health of the country at large. Even those faith schools that genuinely try to reach out to the wider community and teach good citizenship still segregate Jewish, Muslim or Catholic children from each other and bring them up in what amounts to an educational apartheid system.

Rabbit Jonathan Romain has got a point. No denying that. But his “modest proposal” doesn’t go nearly far enough.

Why draw the line at faith school apartheid, when house of worship apartheid goes on. Why should we segregate Jews, Muslims and Catholics in Synagogue Apartheid. We all know having different religions is socially destabilizing, it creates ghettos, perpetuates divisions and makes Jeebus cry. I know, he told me so personally while I was studying a picture of his mother hugging Michael Jackson on a tree stump!

Eliminating Faith Schools doesn’t go nearly far enough. We have to work harder to eliminate religious differences than simply denying our children a Jewish education. No, we have to tear down Synagogue Apartheid too. Down with the Yeshiva, Down with the Synagogue, Down with Judaism. Let’s all be one religion. Skin color will still be a problem, but we can all dye our faces purple.

Also no more single sex bathrooms. Bathroom Apartheid must end. Because there’s no such thing as legitimate separations, are there. Anything separate is apartheid. Down with Apartheid!

Of course we’re going to have to get rid of Rabbis too. We’ll need a new title that encompasses a universal religious leader, with Rabbi Jonathan Romain as our model. How about Spiritual Wanker of No Faith?

I want my children to sit next to a Sikh in class, play football in the break with a Methodist, do homework with a Hindu and walk to the bus stop with a Muslim before returning to their Jewish home.

I’ve kept my mouth shut before, but now Rabbi Jonathan Romain is just shamelessly plagiarizing Dr. Doolittle

If I could talk to the Methodist, and maybe a Sikh or two
and curse at him in fluent Hindu
Share a dirty joke with a Buddhist, Kick a football at a Muslim
Before returning to our intermarried, atheist, completely secular, don’t ask us about our religion… Jewish home!

Hey kids, for 50 points, can anyone tell me why Reform Judaism is dying out? Can’t be the lack of a Jewish education. Oh wait.

I’m not sure if watching the Reform post-Judaism movement commit suicide in such a public way is sad or funny. Sadly it’s probably a little of both. For a while now the movement has talked about embracing Jewish education. Oops apparently that’s Apartheid.

However good some faith schools are individually, collectively they are a recipe for social disaster. Leaders of all faiths should put aside religious self-interest and make national cohesion a higher priority. At the same time, MPs who can see political advantage in supporting local sectarian demands should have the courage to ignore calls for religious preferences and work towards the greater good of communal integration.

Assimilation today! Assimilation tomorrow! Assimilation forever! I recommend that Johnny Lettuce begin his “Tear down the Schools” crusade with the Muslims. Then after they fish all 14 pieces of him out of the river, we can bury him in 14 different religious cemeteries to accommodate his commitment to ecumenism uber alles.

And in case you’re wondering, Rabbi Jonathan Romain’s Saturnalia resolution next year will to speak out against Faith Synagogues.

Update: Rabbi Romain is a member of ACCORD, a group created by a member of the Anti-Religious British Humanist Association (atheist), which campaigns against religious schools.

The goal is to destroy religious education.

ACCORD calls for schools with mandatory infterfaith student bodies and staff and to…

“Follow an objective, fair and balanced syllabus for education about religious and non-religious beliefs – whether determined by their local authority or by any future national syllabus or curriculum for RE”

So Rabbi Lettucehead’s fun version of Judaism would be taught by whatever the British government decides is a “fair and balanced” approach to balancing Judaism and every other religion, and atheism too.

And of course nothing as dirty and ugly as prayers

“Provide their pupils with inclusive, inspiring and stimulating assemblies in place of compulsory acts of worship.”

So yes this is exactly about destroying religious education backed by the rhyme scheme of Dr. Doolitle.

It’s possible for children to learn to coexist with others, without backing a heavy handed government scheme to enforce its version of education, while banning all others.

And now let’s look at the membership of ACCORD

There’s the The British Humanist Association, The Campaign for State Education, The Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement and The Socialist Education Association.

They seem to have left out Joseph Stalin, but that’s about it.