Why Jewish Women Should Marry Muslim Men

Like all self-righteous idiots, I am completely and uncontrollably outraged by the letter of a bunch of Rebbetzins telling Jewish women not to marry Arab Muslim men. I’m so outraged that I can’t decide whether to eat a wheel of cheese or kick an ostrich.

How dare these awful people say there’s anything wrong with Jewish women marrying Muslim men?

Just look at all the reasons why Jewish women should marry Muslim men.

1. Domestic abuse is guaranteed by the Koran. If your husband is a devout Muslim then he will beat you. Because it’s in the Koran.

2. If he ever gets tired of you, polygamy is still legit in Islam. So better get used to sharing Jameel.

3. Don’t have daughters. If you do, first their clitoris will be cut off, and then their head if they ever dishonor the family by acting like teenage girls.

4. All your husband has to do to divorce you is recite a sentence in Arabic three times. He can also email it you or text it to you.

5. If you move to an Arab village and get raped, your rapists can accuse you of adultery. You can’t accuse them of rape.

6. Your mandatory body garment also doubles as a shroud when your husband decides to dispose of you.

7. Your children will grow up taught to murder Jews.

Great list, no? What’s there not to like. Come marry Abdul. No one will see the black eyes under the Niqab. And what do a bunch of stupid racist Rebbetzins know anyway.

Plus Rabbi Nezek Jihadi of the Masroti movement and 49 of his favorite goats have already signed on to a letter encouraging Jewish women to marry Muslim men. It’s great. It’s fun.

Once you marry a Muslim, you’ll never go back. Not unless you manage to sneak away in the middle of the night without being murdered.

Rosh Pina Project Promotes Anti-Semitic Video

The Rosh Pina Project, a missionary blog run by a cult member who’s been in trouble with the law in the UK, is promoting a video made by Eddie Beckford‘s Kingsmen Arad.

Eddie Beckford is an African-American Christian missionary who calls himself a messianic Jew, harasses Jewish residents of Arad and just got convicted of assault. The video can be found all over YouTube under the name, “This is Why People Hate the Jews” uploaded by AradIsrael. The Rosh Pina Project is too dishonest to list its real title. Because Yeze Yezekiel is still pretending to be pro-Israel and not anti-Semitic. And running a video like “This is Why People Hate the Jews” would be a tip off.

But blogs like Harry’s Place still insist on giving space to this cult member to smear Israel and civil rights organizations such as Honenu. Some cult and missionary groups pretend to be pro-Israel as a ploy. But they hate Jews. And when given a chance, they show it.

If they didn’t hate Jews, they wouldn’t constantly seek to impersonate Jews in order to attack their religion. Here’s another reminder of what Edwin Beckford stands for and what cult members like the Rosh Pina Project really support when it comes to the Jews of Israel.

What’s the difference between “Messianic Jews” and “Neo-Nazi thugs” again? The former have prayer requests and file civil rights complaints. That’s what.

Village Voice Trolls for Anti-Jewish Bigotry

Elizabeth Dwoskin, author of such insightful pieces as “Too Hot To be a Banker” and “Hopping Around Wall Street’s Holiday Parties”, has a hit piece out that asks in her best shocked voice HOW CAN RELIGIOUS JEWS BE SLUMLORDS. Plenty of non-Jewish slumlords go to church. The Village Voice doesn’t do pieces asking how can politicians go to church and lie to voters. Or ask how Mafia members can reconcile Communion with whacking their enemies.

No other community would be dragged out this way, scapegoated, demeaned and forced to justify itself to outsiders for something that is not unique to that community. There would be no such roundup of black leaders to denounce themselves for dealing drugs. No roundup of Latinos to denounce themselves for car thefts. Any newspaper that tried to do it would have its ass kicked for even trying it.

Singling out a minority that way is bigotry. And the Village Voice knows it will get away with it. Because some kinds of bigotry are still hip.

The Village Voice won’t do a piece asking how the Ground Zero Mosque’s Imam Rauf can justify being a slumlord. But they will do a roundup of Jew bashing by pathetic weasels like Shmuly Yanklowitz under the pretense of a serious investigation.

Speaking of Shmuly Yanklowitz…

When it came out, we publicized it and tried to create awareness around it. When it came out, we held a beit midrash—a study session—in Washington Heights to raise awareness about the issue.

Shut up weasel, you don’t know what a beit midrash is. When you touch a chumash, it bursts into flames. The only awareness you create is internet trolling to promote your fake organization which exists only to raise money from liberal groups and harass religious Jews.

It’s always been a personal priority of mine to get into this issue. I figured someone would step up, but I haven’t seen that happen at all. There’s clearly a big problem with certain sects of the Jewish community in how they are treating their tenants. It’s a national problem. It’s a New York City problem, and it’s a Jewish problem. I am currently deliberating the best approach to take this on.

Boycott Judaism, Shmuly. That will show us. Convert and become a Methodist. Then you’ll be their problem.

It’s always a concern of mine that ultra-Orthodox Jews are going to get scapegoated. So I think it’s up to us to clean it up, and not for outsiders to point fingers at Jews. . . .

So Shmuly fights scapegoating by appearing in an outside newspaper’s scapegoating piece that targets one group for a specific type of crime. That makes so much sense it hurts.

On to Jill Jacobs

Judaism has a lot of things to say about how to create a just society. There are a lot of people who are outwardly religious but ignore a whole section of the Jewish tradition.

Like keeping the Sabbath, not eating pork, no same sex nookie… she can find all that in her own synagogue.

I’m interested in what my community does. And I want my community, which is a Jewish community, to be exemplary.

It’s not your community. Go away.

And as long as there is one Jewish slumlord, then there’s reason for me to raise a public discussion. Any criticism of the Jewish community that comes from the outside is going to be perceived as anti-Semitic.

But if we have Jewish figureheads doing it, then suddenly bigotry is Kosher. Like when black people tell fried chicken jokes on a white owned network.

Sometimes it’s a fair characterization, and sometimes it isn’t. Some people will say, “But this is a stereotype! There are so many other slumlords that aren’t Jewish.” But my attitude is if this is my community, and I am a leader in my community, then I want it to follow Jewish values and laws.

Then maybe Jill Jacobs should start with her community, instead of talking about other communities she has no connection to anyway, in a newspaper that’s hostile to those communities.

Fuck this shit. I don’t have the stomach to read through more of it. It’s a disgusting minstrel show and I have trouble believing that I’m reading this in 2010 and not 1910. It’s arrogant, condescending bigotry at its worst.

I’m looking forward to that piece the Village Voice isn’t going to do on Imam Rauf and how he can justify being a slumlord and an Imam.

Don’t Pay Jeffrey Goldberg’s Salary

Inevitably The Atlantic expects people to send them subscription money so they can “Pay Jeffrey Goldberg’s Salary”. But I’m not giving.

Jeffrey Goldberg is a wealthy writer. That he has no other way to make money except by writing trolling pieces over at The Atlantic and making up interviews with Fidel Castro, is not our fault. It’s due to his own negligence. At some point the people who work for a living are going to have to tell Jeffrey Goldberg that if he wants to earn a living, he has to develop some basic useful skills, such as carpentry or plumbing.

We’ve had enough of subsidizing Jeffrey Goldberg and we’re not doing him any favors by letting him think that he can live high on the hog with no other skills but his Atlantic trolling stories. There are a great many causes that deserve money, like the homeless and the endangered squirrels and the homeless endangered squirrels. But Jeffrey Goldberg should not expect to have his lifestyle subsidized by the people of Boca Raton, Potomac and the Upper West Side.

My sympathy is with Jeffrey Goldberg, Andrew Sullivan and the rest of the human jokes masquerading as writers at The Atlantic who might have to cut back on their cocktails and their rented ponies, but not with their poor money management skills that lead them to think that trolling the internet is a career. It is not a career. And it’s time they learned that. That’s why I’m not going to contribute to funding their poor life choices and lifestyles.